8.24.2017

Our pregnancy story

I'm writing this post with a heart so grateful and so full...
There's so much I want to say to all of you,
to those of you who've prayed for us and with us, 
for those who have opened up to me and shared your struggles,
for those who have come to me and shared your story.
Thank you.
If there's one thing I know for sure,
There is power in prayer.

Kyle and I have been trying to start a family for about two years now.
I'm aware, two years may sound like nothing to some of you.
But when you want something SO badly...two years feels like a lifetime.
Two years of trying, two years of negative tests,
two years of watching others post baby announcements and live out your dream of starting a family.
During those two years I made multiple appointments.
The first appointment wasn't until after the first year of trying,
I went to my obgyn and expressed my feelings of concern.
I told her we'd been trying for a year
 and I was afraid and worried that it hadn't happened for us yet.
She quickly laughed, She said "You're young and healthy",
 "I'm sure you're fine, just keep trying for a few more months"
Well that wasn't exactly the answer I was looking for,
I wanted a baby NOW.
I left the appointment feeling discouraged and frustrated.

Fast forward to a few more months of trying and failing.
Then there were the months of completely giving up hope and not "trying or tracking" at all,
but secretly hoping it would happen since we "weren't trying" anymore.
Nope that didn't work either.
After a couple more months I decided I just wanted to go straight to a specialist,
I made two appointments with two different specialists and each one had to be cancelled because of something getting in the way.
Which was extremely frustrating.
I just wanted some answers.

After more thought, I decided I just needed to switch to a different obgyn,
within 2 months I had made 4 different appointments to visit an obgyn
and figure out what's going on with my body....
Every single time the appointment would roll around,
something would come up and I would have to cancel.
This happened 4 times y'all, F O U R.
I finally realized that this couldn't be a coincidence and it had to be God.

Was this God's way of telling me to just stop and be still and trust in Him?
I went back and forth and talked to loved ones and
couldn't figure out what this meant or why this kept happening.
Why did I keep having to cancel these appointments that I wanted to happen SO badly.
What was Gods plan? I just couldn't make sense of any of it.
About a month later I decided to attempt to make an appointment again.
On June 7th I finally arrived at my appointment.
The doctor was great, very friendly, and very proactive.
I shared our story with him and he was honest with me and told me that from what he hears,
It sounds like a classic case of unexplained infertility,
but of course he wouldn't know for sure until we started digging deeper.
He encouraged me to start taking prenatals again.
(I was taking them for a while, but had stopped because I was so frustrated and discouraged)
We set up an appointment the following month for me to get my uterus/tubes checked,
and he referred a place for Kyle to get checked out as well.
I FINALLY had a plan of action, we were finally going to get some answers.
I immediately went to the store and bought me some prenatals,
I was so thrilled to have a plan and answers to look forward too!

That month crept by slowly, but I was still so happy to have a plan of action.
Even if we didn't have a baby soon, We would have answers.
Fast forward to about nine days before my appointment....
On Monday, June 26th around 9am,
I fell to the ground in shock, sobbing, gasping for air, and praising Jesus.
God had finally answered our prayers, 
those little tests that often brought so much pain and heartache
finally read a big YES+.

I could not believe it, Was I dreaming? Is this real?

All of those cancelled appointments made so much more sense now.
If we would have started this process when I wanted it to start,
we would've wasted so much time and money,
and honestly probably would've been left with no answers and more frustration.
It's amazing how God works.
His plans for our lives are FAR FAR greater than our own.
He allowed me to finally go to an appointment because he KNEW
that I needed it emotionally.
By going to that appointment I received the promise of answers and hope for my future,
By going to that appointment I started taking prenatals and better care of myself,
Going to the appointment helped me become in a better physical and emotional state
for the baby that I had no earthly idea that was already growing inside of me.

It was a long and frustrating two years of waiting,
but God worked on me in SO many ways during those two years.
I needed more time to grow, I needed time to make mistakes and learn from them,
I needed time to figure out who I was.
Looking back, I really wasn't ready for a baby.
Gods timing really is perfect,
He knows our hearts and our needs SO much better than we do.

Kyle and I are [totally still in shock] absolutely thrilled to become
Mommy and Daddy to this sweet baby BOY that God has chosen for us.


3 comments:

  1. Beautiful story.........So happy for you both.

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  2. Oh my goodness girl, I just cried like a baby reading this. I am so happy for you and your husband...God is SO GOOD!

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  3. HUGE CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR PREGNANCY!!! I have been reading your blog for a long time now and was so happy to read that you are pregnant. I am looking forward to reading your journey and about life after the baby is born. So exciting!

    Hayley | hayleyxmartin

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