5 Tips on surviving at home with a newborn once your husband goes back to work!

Happy Wednesday Y’all!
I’ve received tons of messages recently asking for tips on how to get through those first few weeks after having a baby especially once your husband goes back to work! I think I may have actually done a post like this when Hayes was a newborn but I figured I’d put another post together for y’all because, well, you can never have enough encouragement as a new mom!

I remember the day Kyle went back to work like it was yesterday…
Before I had Hayes I was SO scared of when that day would come.
Would I be able to handle him by myself? Would I cry all day and beg Kyle to come home? Would I be a good mom? What the heck were we going to do all day?!

Hayes was born on a Sunday morning (3:35AM) and Kyle stayed home with us for that first week, he had planned on taking two weeks off but ended up staying home the week before Hayes was born because our doctor had told us that he could come any minute..and being first time parents we took that VERY seriously and I didn’t want Kyle to leave my side in case I went into labor.

After Hayes was born we had visitors NONSTOP, like for real, it felt like every hour of every day someone new was coming over! Which was honestly, SO awesome… but also really overwhelming and totally exhausting.
I remember being a little excited to have Hayes all to myself and finally see what it would be like, BUT of course also very nervous about it. That Monday morning came quickly and I remember waking up and feeling totally fine, I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I’d be and I felt confident that we’d be just fine. I remember nursing Hayes in bed that morning and Kyle kissing us both goodbye, I was absolutely fine until the front door shut…I immediately burst into tears (HELLO hormones).
I wasn’t scared or nervous, I just missed Kyle already. We had just experienced the most incredible thing together and been side by side nonstop being a team and learning and growing together for two weeks straight. Our relationship grew and strengthened so much that week Hayes was born and gosh I missed Kyle SO much when he left us for work…
(For those of you messaging me about how our marriage has changed since having a baby, I talk about that on this blog post {HERE})

If you’re not a mama yet, but will be soon, you’ll learn VERY quickly that motherhood is full of ups and downs, there are really great days and there are really bad days…BUT even on the really really bad days there are still good moments, and I’ve learned that those moments are what you’ve got to cling onto when you’re about to lose your mind or start to consider selling your baby on instagram. (no joke, I literally told (shouted at) Hayes if he didn’t stop crying I was going to sell him…#momoftheyear)

There will be days where you will feel like superwoman and your child behaves perfectly, you shower and put makeup on, you clean the house and do the laundry, and you feel like you WERE MADE FOR THIS. And then there are other days where your baby won’t stop crying and the house is a mess and your dog won’t stop barking and you stink and haven’t had time to eat and you call and text your husband all day long in tears begging him to come home and help you.
We all have those days, all of us!

Motherhood can be extremely lonely and I know I’ve talked to y’all about this before but there are a few different things I did at the beginning that really helped me get through each day! I remember getting overwhelmed with visitors coming every day and I was honestly totally over it and couldn’t wait for Hayes and I to just have some time to ourselves! But once the visitors stopped coming, I’m not going to lie, I totally felt sad. So if people want to come hold your baby so you can shower, or want to bring you coffee or whatever LET THEM!
Tips for surviving:
#1 GO OUTSIDE – this is so so important. Fresh air is so good and it really does help when you’re feeling stressed, overwhelmed, sad, tired, you name it…do yourself a favor if you’re a new mom and go on a walk, or sit in your backyard or on your front porch because I’m telling you it is SO much better than being locked inside your house all day.

#2 Get in the car and listen to music – If you have a baby that loves the car and falls asleep as soon as you turn on the engine, TAKE ADVANTAGE of it! Even if you don’t actually go to a store or public place, get in your car and drive around and listen to music or get yourself a milkshake (you deserve it), I swear a car ride with some good music is good for the soul.

#3 Join a facebook group or some kind of community for new moms – If you don’t have friends that are going through the same thing as you or people that can relate to you, you will feel SO ALONE. I was extremely lucky and had a good amount of friends going through the same thing as me or friends that had just gone through the same thing but also having all of you on here and on Instagram to chat with or ask questions was seriously so incredibly helpful.

#4 Start your day with Jesus and coffee. In the beginning when I was extra hormonal and extra exhausted I would always start my mornings with worship music and I swear it would always put me in a better mood and make me feel so grateful no matter how tough our night was. And well, coffee is everything…

#5 Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to have it all together – This may be the most important tip, the absolute worst thing you can do to yourself as a new mom is compare yourself to other moms. Everyones story is different, everyones baby is different. The moms you see on social media with perfectly posed pictures and beautifully decorated spotless houses are a freaking hot mess too they just know how to hide it! Y’all should see the amount of laundry I let pile up each week, its absurd. And don’t even get me started on the dog hair all over E V E R Y T H I N G. I post cute outfits on Instagram pretty often but day to day? I’m wearing the ugliest/most comfortable granny panties with a huge tee shirt, no make up, and dirty hair. So embrace the chaos mamas, we’re all just doing our best, and YOU are doing great and deserve a really nice prize.

For those of you that will become a mama soon or are in that newborn phase, HANG IN THERE!
I promise you it does get easier, and as each month passes your baby will just get cuter and cuter and more fun!
I still learn new things every day but I also feel like I’m really getting the hang of this whole “mom” thing,
and heck I feel pretty proud of myself and YOU should too!
We are 5.5 months in and we are all sleeping through the night (since a few days ago, shout out to Jesus)
Hoping it stays that way, but not counting on it because as soon as we all get an awesome routine going Hayes decides to go through a growth spurt, or developmental leap, or starts teething or SOMETHING and throws us all off.
BUT, I wouldn’t change a thing.
Mom life is the best life.

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3 Comments

  1. Jenna
    August 15, 2018 / 7:42 pm

    Ugh I so needed this! I have a 7 week old, and today was one of those REALLY REALLY bad days that you speak of 😳 but your survival tips have been some of my favorite things to do too! Thanks for sharing & being real! The world needs more real mamas out there!

  2. Lindsay
    August 15, 2018 / 7:47 pm

    I love this post. All of this is so true!! My husband is a firefighter and does 24’s so I have 2 full days a week where I’m completely alone. I was absolutely terrified at the beginning because it was February in Boston so I couldn’t even get out of the house! My mom was my saving grace during those first few weeks and would come over for a few hours to keep me company. And random but I read an article the other day that said it takes women 4 months and 23 days to finally feel comfortable with their role as “mom”. 🙂 🙂

  3. Ashley
    August 16, 2018 / 8:14 am

    I’m 30 weeks pregnant tomorrow and have just recently started waking up in the middle of the night in a panic thinking about how I’m going to do things when my husband goes back to work. I am so scared! It’s nice to see someone else felt that way. 10 weeks feels like so long but I know our little guy will be here before I know it and this post was really encouraging. Love your realness!

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