Gods plan


It’s freaking HARD when Gods plan and timeline of your life looks completely different than what you wanted or hoped for. I’ve been having to remind myself a lot lately that it’s okay to feel frustrated or sad or angry about it. But also constantly trying to remember that His plans for our family will ALWAYS be greater than mine…ALWAYS. And that just because our babies will be further apart in age than I would’ve liked doesn’t mean they can’t still be super close and the best of friends. That’s been one of the hardest parts for me in trying for baby #2…I really really pictured it happening way sooner, I just KNEW we’d have 2 under 2 and it would be complete chaos but so perfect at the same time. I’ve always wanted a big close knit family, and for some reason it’s stuck in my head that if I don’t pop the babies all out back to back that they won’t be close…which I KNOW is so silly, but I can’t help but think that way.

I remember when we were trying for Hayes, I was SO excited to tell people that we were “trying” and I remember quite a few people telling me how excited they were for us but they weren’t quite ready to try yet…and I remember a lot of those same people getting pregnant, and having babies, and more babies before I was even pregnant with Hayes. That was HARD. Was I SO happy for them?? Hell yes!! But did it also remind me, “Hey, you’re still not pregnant and you started trying way before they were even thinking about trying and now they’re holding their precious baby in their arms!”?! Hell yes!

A lot of you have asked me to share more about trying for baby #2. It’s had it’s ups and downs. I’m mostly positive, but I definitely have days or moments where I just feel completely sad or defeated or forgotten or afraid of another 2+ year journey or just no journey at all. I think I’ve been scared to share about it because I DO NOT want anyone feeling sorry for us or thinking I’m asking for pitty. I am SO well aware of so many who are facing much more serious issues or who have even lost children. My hope is that one of you can resonate with my story and feel understood, I am in no way trying to act like I have a rough life or that I’m not thankful for what I’ve been given. I know the majority of you know this, it just makes me feel better to have it written out in case there’s that ONE person who reads this and takes away something negative from it.

Last year in September we were on our first BIG family vacation with Hayes, in Hawaii. He was around 7 months old and I remember always thinking “THIS, this is my favorite age so far” but Kyle and I tended to say that every month! haha We always had this plan that we would start trying for baby #2 as soon as Hayes was 9 months old, that way our babies would be 18 months apart and super close…the best of friends ya know?! I was going to start this post by saying it was around a year ago today that we started trying for baby #2, but there were a few months before that we had some “oopsies” and I remember hoping and praying “PLEASE Lord let it happen just by accident this time”. I think the hardest part for me this time around is just the fear of the next month, I find myself constantly saying “Okay, it didn’t happen this month but that’s okay…surely next month!” and then next month comes along and it’s the same story…Every single month since last November I have honestly had really high hopes and been pretty positive. I’m pretty sure I was CONVINCED that I was pregnant at least 10 out of the 13+ months we’ve been trying, like so convinced that I videoed while the test showed the result and the entire day before I was planning exactly how I was going to surprise Kyle.

I’m pretty sure most of you know this, but we tried for around two years with Hayes, I was basically told I have “unexplained infertility”, and I set up an appointment to go get everything checked out…a week before my appointment I got my first ever positive pregnancy test and it was absolutely INSANE..that after two years, not changing a single thing, I just all the sudden got pregnant. It was nuts, it didn’t make sense, but it happened and we have the most beautiful baby boy because of it.

I remember after having Hayes, everyone would always tell me, “Oh, you’ll get pregnant super quick the next time around! That always happens to people that struggled getting pregnant with the first!! The 2nd one just happens right away!” I know that does happen for a lot of people! I especially hear that happening when people choose to adopt, they find out they’re pregnant soon after! As much as I really did enjoy hearing that and thinking positive I definitely didn’t want to get my hopes up, and I was still prepared for it to take “a little while”. For all you enneagram lovers, I’m pretty sure I’m a 6, so I definitely tend to prepare for the worst, It’s a way of protecting myself. Needless to say, I was fully prepared for it to not happen right away.

Since I already had a baby I didn’t know what an appropriate time would be to go to the doctor or “worry”. I still didn’t have answers as to why it took so long to get pregnant with Hayes but I never want to just run to the doctor and be “that patient” when things don’t go my way…I don’t know if that even makes sense but hopefully y’all understand what I’m saying. lol

We had been REALLY trying for almost a year so I said screw it, I’m making an appointment…I went to see my doctor, who I absolutely love and trust! He assured me that he really thinks I’m fine, I’m young and im healthy and he said “You’re going to hate hearing this…but I really think it’s just bad luck that it hasn’t happened yet” I did hate that.

He said that we should do some tests and check my tubes just in case something might be in the way or blocking my tubes and preventing me from getting pregnant. So I went in a week or so later to get that procedure..sure enough my uterus and cervix were completely covered with polyps. There was NO way I was going to get pregnant with those polyps in there and he said if I did happen to get pregnant it would 100% end in miscarriage. So we scheduled a surgery to get them out ASAP. I remember being SO excited about the surgery, I had FINALLY found out what was wrong, I was FINALLY going to be able to get pregnant like a normal person!!!! He told me that my period should come back normal and we could start trying right away. I had the surgery, period came a few days later, and I was freaking PUMPED haha I actually shared about my surgery on instagram stories and it was insane how many of you messaged me saying you or your friend had the same exact surgery and ended up getting pregnant the next month!! I can’t even tell y’all how excited and anxious those messages got me. Those two weeks after trying were the lonnngggeeesstttt two weeks of my life. I actually thought I was pregnant. Like I was SURE of it. My boobs were hurting from the water pressure in the shower, I was cramping but they didn’t feel like period cramps etc…and my period was even two days late. BUT sure enough my period came and I took probably 10 pregnancy tests all throughout that week and they were all negative. I was REALLY mad. I was super frustrated with God. I remember before I started my period I just kept praying throughout the day “Please Lord, if I’m going to start my period just let it start now so I can stop getting my hopes up” I think I repeated that prayer 600 times. My period is never ever ever late. So when it showed up 2 days late I was just DONE and so frustrated.

I’m okay though!! Seeing that negative test is always difficult no matter how long you’ve been trying. I know that God has a plan for us. I know that whatever His plan is, that it’s perfect. So as of now, it’s all up to Him. I could get pregnant this month, I could get pregnant in two years, or it could be 5 years… and I need to be okay with that.  I’m trying to just accept the fact that I am not in control and HE is. Also reminding myself that He brought us Hayes at the most perfect timing and He can do that again with our next baby, even if it seems like (to me) that the perfect timing was a long time ago. So that’s kind of where I’m at! I think my biggest fear right now is that we’ll continue to get negative tests, which means the polyps weren’t the only issue. Once they found the polyps it was like Christmas morning because I finally knew what the problem was and it was fixable!!! (thank you Jesus) but of course there could be other underlying issue that we don’t know about which is really scary. I have moments of being totally okay and at peace with everything and then I have moments of being sad. I think that just comes with being a human though.

Thank you ALL so so much for thinking of me and us and for your prayers. Hopefully baby #2 will happen for us sooner rather than later. In the meantime i’ll be soaking as much one on one time with Hayes as possible, he’s already growing way too fast and I know things will change SO much once we do get pregnant with baby #2. From the messages I’ve received within the last few years, I know there are so many of you who are in the same boat as me or dealing with similar struggles. I also have a good amount of close friends and family members that are going through similar situations or way more difficult situations and it’s just H A R D, I can’t even pretend like I know what you all may be going through because everyones story is different.
All of our stories are unique but we’re all in this together!

Love y’all & your huge hearts, thanks for always loving so much on my little family.

Walmart Baby Registry – Must Have Items

Y’all, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but Walmart is majorly stepping up their game in every area!
I keep finding the cutest clothes for both me and Hayes (try on happening soon)!!
AND I swear they always have exactly what we need when it comes to baby items.
They’ve recently introduced a new personalized baby registry experience and y’all, I am SO impressed!!
My favorite thing about Walmart is that they’ve been able to provide SO much for us through every single phase of Hayes’s life.
Their toy selection has been a life saver for us lately!!
Linking so many of our favorites from birth to 18 months!

First Birthday Gift Ideas

Happy Monday y’all!!
I originally started typing up this post on Valentines Day, but wasn’t able to get it up in time…
So hopefully that explains why I’m sharing photos of Hayes with kisses all over him! haha



I’ve been getting so many messages asking to share some first birthday gift ideas so I figured I’d share them in a blog post so it’s super easy to just click and shop each item!
Hayes’s first birthday party is in just 5 days and I am SO excited!
Kyle and I actually aren’t getting Hayes a gift…because in all honesty, he has WAY too many toys already…and we know he’ll be getting tons of stuff from friends and family! BUT there are a few things that I know he’s getting and I just know he’s going to LOVE them! I’m going to share some toys that we already have that Hayes loves and some other toys that I think would make a GREAT first birthday gift! You can click directly on the photo of any item to shop it!

What do y’all think about this list?! If you have a toy or item that your baby loves send it my way and I’ll make sure to keep this list updated!!
Love y’all!

2019 – Goals & Resolutions

2018 was the best year of our lives.

In 2018 we became parents, the day Hayes was born will forever be the most memorable and magical day, I could still tell you every single little detail of that day as if it happened yesterday.
Bringing Hayes into this world was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and the most physical pain I have ever experienced, but I still wish I could relive it over and over again.

2018 was full of blessings, and love, and tears, and arguments, and laughter, and shock, and confusion, and questions, and happiness, and excitement, and changes, and GROWTH.
In 2018 Kyle and I grew so much together and we learned so much together.
Becoming parents is absolutely life changing, having a baby will rock your entire world.
You will experience a love that you’ve never known before, both for your new baby and for your significant other.
And you will experience a level of exhaustion that you’ve never known before, but don’t worry friends,
it’s worth it.

Now let’s talk resolutions…I have always been someone who loves to document things, even before iphones and social media were around I would always have a camera on me and I LOVED taking pictures of everyone and everything and capturing moments so that I’d always have a photo to look back on. That’s just who I am. That’s one of the main reasons I started my blog in college, I wanted to remember all of the little things, the simple days of when Kyle and I had just started dating and when he’d leave me little love notes in my apartment bathroom and of course the big moments like our engagement on the beach. The blogging world and social media have come a LONG way since I was just a college girl, and it’s so easy to get caught up in that world of perfectly edited and staged photos.

I have a lot of goals for 2019, but I’ll start with this one.
In 2019, this little blog of mine will be filled with a lot more daily life posts and imperfect photos. I will still share fashion and sales and deals for y’all but I want the main focus of my blog to be more lifestyle & family related. I’m hoping y’all will be able to relate more to these posts, BUT of course you’ll still be able to come on here and find a super affordable and cute outfit that you feel awesome in.
Basically, my goal in 2019 is for my blog to be the best of both worlds!

Kyle and I have moved a lot since we’ve been married, and we still aren’t in our forever home, but one BIG goal is to find a home church and go regularly. We haven’t been to church since Hayes was born and I’m so ashamed of that. I’ve had pretty bad postpartum anxiety and honestly,  the thought of just dropping Hayes off at the church nursery with “strangers” makes me sick to my stomach. BUT I’m determined to get past that this year, because WE need more Jesus. Another goal of mine is to let Hayes spend the night with one of our parents so Kyle and I can have some time together. I’m just such a control freak and worry wart but gosh we NEED some good ol quality time together. So prayers are very welcome because this goal will be VERY hard for me.

Kyle and I both do a lot of work from our phones, so we’re both guilty of being on our phones a lot when we should be spending time together or with Hayes. We both agreed to choose one night a week where we turn off our phones and the TV and just BE together and do some kind of activity as a family, I’m REALLY excited about this one and I hope it turns into something we do more than once a week.

For those of you who don’t know me personally, I am SUPER ADD. Like cannot focus on just one thing for the life of me. I’m always doing 5 things at once and my mind is always going crazy thinking about 82819 things. Like it takes me DAYS just to finish one blog post. The point of telling y’all this is because my
MAIN GOAL for 2019 is to be more present in whatever I’m doing. Whether it’s playing with Hayes, writing a blog post, responding to DM’s, having lunch with a friend, whatever it may be, I want to be FULLY present. This is another one that will be extremely hard for me but it’s something that will make my life so much happier and more fulfilled and honestly I think it will help me tremendously when it comes to getting things done.

I can’t end this post without talking about health & fitness because fitness has always been a huge part of my life… but then I became a mom and to be totally honest, working out took a backseat and I didn’t find it as important or necessary. Since I became a mom the way my body looks no longer makes or breaks who I am as a person. I used to be SO concerned about the way my body looked and always felt the need to be “bikini ready”. I’m happy to say that I have never been more content with my body. It looks totally different and I have extra skin and less muscle but y’all…there are SO many more important things in life than having a picture perfect body or obsessing over fixing the flaws on our bodies. I used to pick myself apart daily (whenever I looked freaking phenomenal *insert eye roll emoji*) but I just don’t have time for that anymore and I don’t want to waste my time doing that, because it’s silly, and I’m so much more than my physical appearance.
WITH ALL THAT BEING SAID, Please please don’t get me wrong. My goal this year is to start working out at least 3 times a week…I still want to be strong and healthy and of course I still care how I look and I want to be physically attractive for my husband and want to feel good about myself, I always feel best whenever I’m in shape and doing some kind of work out regularly. I guess I just felt the need to mention that stuff before because I’m honestly so proud of myself for not picking myself apart anymore and focusing on every little flaw.

Anyways, I really am SO excited about 2019…I asked all of you on instagram what was one thing you REALLY wanted to see from me this year and the overwhelming majority said MORE HAYES and ANOTHER BABY! haha
Kyle and I want a big family and most days Hayes makes me want 10 more babies, so we’ll see…
We’d love to have another baby in 2019.
But the Lord made it very clear when we were trying for baby #1 that it’s not up to us and it’s not going to happen when we want it too…it’s going to happen when the time is right and when God says so.

If you made it this far, thanks so much for reading!
I hope this post left you feeling a little inspired and I hope 2019 is the best year of your life.

Black Friday Sales – Best of the Best!!

SO many of my favorite stores are having amazing sales right now!
I know most of y’all like to see more personal/family blog posts but there are still quite a few of you who are around here for outfit inspo and to see my fashion picks so I GOT YOU BOO!
Click on the stores name to go directly to their site and shop the sale or scroll to see my top picks from each store!!

Before I share my fav items from the sales I want to share my TOP FIVE must haves, if you’re going to get anything I HIGHLY suggest these 5 items. I own them, love them, and wear them weekly!!

 

Nordstrom up to 60% off:

Abercrombie 50% off select styles: 

American Eagle 40% off + Free Shipping:

Express 40% off everything:

Goodnight Macaroon up to 50% off sitewide:

PinkLily Boutique 30% off site wide + free shopping:

 

Happy Shopping!!!