Well y’all, It really is true what they say, you will completely surprise yourself when you become a parent. All of the things you said you would never do, you do them. You will be completely against something one week and the next week you’re ALL for it and implementing it. One month you will be a “go with the flow” parent that doesn’t believe in strict schedules and the next month you are staring at the clock to make sure your baby is napping and eating and sleeping EXACTLY when he/she is supposed to be in order to stay “on schedule”. Parenting is full of ups and downs and changes of heart, so if you’re new to this whole parenting thing, know that it’s totally okay to do something you said you’d never do…
Hayes has always been a pretty decent sleeper/easy baby. When he was a newborn he was up every 2 hours or so to eat, but he’d never scream he’d just grunt a little and I’d pick him up, nurse him, then lay him back down and he’d fall back asleep immediately…easy breezy (with a few rough nights of cluster feeding or just being extra fussy mixed in between of course).
I was even able to set him down awake and he’d just slowly fall asleep on his own. At 3 months he slept through the night for 7 nights straight and I legitimately thought we had the worlds best baby, I even bragged about him on facebook a little (rookie mistake)
Because then 4 months came…and that dreaded sleep regression everyone talks about hit us HARD.
We knew the sleep regression was coming so we were slightly prepared for it…but holy smokes it was ROUGH.
He was no longer our easy breezy baby and he would cry and scream when we tried to put him down at night,
was up every 2-3 hours again (some nights every 30 minutes) and not just awake, but screaming, which was SO hard. Most people said that their babies were back to their normal selves once they hit 5 months so I kept telling myself to just hang in there for a few more weeks and that this was temporary. Well, 5 months came around and nothing was changing. I was getting little to no sleep and was SO tired and grumpy and frustrated. I knew something needed to change, but I couldn’t even fathom him not being in the same room with us, that honestly wasn’t even an option.
I had ALWAYS said Hayes would be in our room for the first 6 months at the very very least, and honestly deep down I figured he’d be in our room until our next baby came and forced him out haha. I ended up talking to a few girlfriends who had recently done the Ferber method with their babes, also known as the “cry it out” and I was like “LOL NOPE, no way, can’t”. I ended up trying out the “Moms On Call” schedule that is supposed to help babies sleep through the night, and that didn’t work…I was going on 2 months of basically 30 minutes of sleep a night and I was LOSING it y’all. I was not myself and I didn’t have the energy to play and entertain Hayes during the day, and the littlest things were starting to make me have meltdowns and I was just DONE. I had lunch with one of my girlfriends who has a baby girl just 2 days older than Hayes and she was telling me about her experiences on sleep training.
She, along with a ton of other people basically told me that it would be 3 really really rough nights but then Hayes would be sleeping through the night and it would all be SO worth it. I knew it was time for Hayes to be in his own room, but it totally broke my heart.
The thought of my sweet baby boy not being right next to me absolutely killed me and I just couldn’t even comprehend it. Would I be able to stop staring at the monitor? Would he be okay? Would he think I abandoned him?! Will this make him grow up even faster?!
It was not an easy decision but it was one that HAD to be made. Kyle and I were so exhausted from no sleep and we both agreed that we were going to “sleep train” Hayes. My plan was to follow the Ferber Method, but kind of do it my own way. I was going to see how Hayes acted and how things went and if I wasn’t comfortable with hearing him cry then I was going to do whatever the heck I wanted to do no matter what the “method” said. I pretty much made myself SICK the day leading up to the night of “sleep training”. I did try to have him nap in his crib first before putting him there at night, so we did a few days on and off of him napping in his crib. Naps have always been hit or miss with him so some days he would fall asleep for an hour and some days he wouldn’t fall asleep at all.
ANYWAYS, the night came…the night that we were going to sleep train and that I was going to have to listen to my baby cry and I was going to be a crying mess myself…I was SO sick that entire day just thinking about how hard the next few nights would be…
Well, we did our normal bedtime routine, I sat in the rocking chair and I nursed him and he always falls somewhat asleep during his bedtime nursing session…I gently set him in his crib and I walked out. I stared at the monitor ALL NIGHT LONG, just waiting for him to wake up scared and screaming and needing me. I didn’t sleep for even 5 minutes that night because I just knew he was going to wake up ANY MINUTE. Well, he slept through the ENTIRE night…didn’t even make a peep! I was in complete shock. The next night wasn’t as easy but it wasn’t hard at all, he woke up a few times and cried but no longer than 2 minutes each time and I never had to go in there, he would end up soothing himself and falling back asleep.
{TRUST ME I’m aware that we are EXTREMELY LUCKY and this is not normal for most babies…most parents have to suffer through a few nights or weeks of hearing their babies cry and scream and it is absolutely awful and devastating…so please don’t think that I’m assuming sleep training is easy..we are SO fortunate and didn’t really have to “sleep train”.
I’m not telling y’all that if you do what we did your baby will magically sleep through the night, I’m just sharing my experiences and honestly I think Hayes was ready to be in his own room way before we moved him but I just wasn’t ready}
He has done SO well and has LOVED being in his own room and seriously sleeps so much better.
It’s also nice because we put him down around 7:30 and Kyle and I can hang out together or watch Netflix // just have some time as the two of us with no distractions.
One thing I’ve realized is that babies make a lot of noises when they sleep, sometimes they even cry in their sleep and when your baby is right next to you your natural instinct is to jump up and grab them. I can’t tell y’all how many times Hayes has been in his own room and has let out a big cry (in his sleep) only to be silent and content just 15 seconds later…Also, I know Kyle and I make noises in our sleep too which I’m sure would wake Hayes up when he was in our room!
It’s been exactly one month since we moved him into his own room, and every night hasn’t been perfect but we are ALL getting so much more sleep now than we were when he was in our room. We went out of town and it’s taken him a week or so to get adjusted again, he was waking up about once or twice a night because he’s teething and just wants to nurse for comfort and to soothe those aching gums, but he slept all night last night! I’m not really following any plan or method. If I can tell his cries are “fake” then I will let him cry for a little while and see if he ends up soothing himself, if he’s crying hard I’ll typically go in there and rub his back and try to calm him, and every now and then I’ll have to pick him up and nurse him.
Every day is different, and that’s okay.
I’ve been trying to get him to nap in his crib for 30 minutes now, & I gave up & he’s attached to my boob on the couch.
Give yourself grace mamas, & know that it’s okay to not be on a schedule.
& it’s also okay to be on a strict schedule.
If co sleeping works for you then DO IT.
YOU DO YOU MAMA.
With allllllll that being said, I really think Hayes was ready to be in his own room, it was definitely way harder on me to move him than it was for him. He loves his crib and also loves sleeping on his tummy!
Things that I believe help Hayes sleep more soundly and through the night:
#1. Magic Sleep Suit
We’ve tried to transition him out of this and it’s been awful so we’re sticking to it for as long as we can. He prefers to sleep on his tummy now and he can lift up his head/entire body while wearing the suit so I haven’t found the suit to be dangerous whatsoever. We keep it cool in our house at night so there’s no chance of him overheating. He LOVES this suit and it makes him feel secure and cuddled all night long and he sleeps SO much better when he’s wearing it.
#2. Sound machine
I linked the one we have and it is AWESOME, it is a sound machine + night light and it has multiple different sound options, we’ve been using the rain sound and Hayes loves it! I will never use another sound machine – this once is seriously THE BOMB.
#3. Diffusing Essential Oils
I have a diffuser in Hayes’s room and I diffuse lavender during his naps and bedtime and I just feel like it makes it extra calm and relaxing in there
#4. Black out shade
We just got this super cheap one from Home Depot and it gets the job done!!
#5. Going to bed around the same time every night
This is super important, it does limit your night life as a parent BUT if we try to keep Hayes up past his bedtime (7:30/8) he gets super grumpy and it’s way harder to put him down and get him settled at night, and the later you put them down DOES NOT mean that they will wake up later – every now and then you may get lucky but typically they will wake up at their usual time no matter how late you put them down.
#6. Fill up their bellies REALLY WELL during the day! Make sure they get all of their nursing sessions in.
I had no clue that this affected their sleep (total newbie) I thought the older they got the longer they could go between feedings, NOPE. You should continue feeding your babe around every 3 hours or whenever they are hungry during the day!
I was trying to have Hayes go every 4 hours and he was waking up way more often at night.
I feed him every 2-3 hours during the day now and he sleeps so much better at night.
Apparently most people already know this, BUT I didn’t so I figured I’d share that with y’all just in case.
Feel free to comment any questions you have here or on my latest Instagram post!!
