Why we decided to transition Hayes into his own room

Well y’all, It really is true what they say, you will completely surprise yourself when you become a parent. All of the things you said you would never do, you do them. You will be completely against something one week and the next week you’re ALL for it and implementing it. One month you will be a “go with the flow” parent that doesn’t believe in strict schedules and the next month you are staring at the clock to make sure your baby is napping and eating and sleeping EXACTLY when he/she is supposed to be in order to stay “on schedule”. Parenting is full of ups and downs and changes of heart, so if you’re new to this whole parenting thing, know that it’s totally okay to do something you said you’d never do…

Hayes has always been a pretty decent sleeper/easy baby. When he was a newborn he was up every 2 hours or so to eat, but he’d never scream he’d just grunt a little and I’d pick him up, nurse him, then lay him back down and he’d fall back asleep immediately…easy breezy (with a few rough nights of cluster feeding or just being extra fussy mixed in between of course).
I was even able to set him down awake and he’d just slowly fall asleep on his own. At 3 months he slept through the night for 7 nights straight and I legitimately thought we had the worlds best baby, I even bragged about him on facebook a little (rookie mistake)

Because then 4 months came…and that dreaded sleep regression everyone talks about hit us HARD.
We knew the sleep regression was coming so we were slightly prepared for it…but holy smokes it was ROUGH.
He was no longer our easy breezy baby and he would cry and scream when we tried to put him down at night,
was up every 2-3 hours again (some nights every 30 minutes) and not just awake, but screaming, which was SO hard. Most people said that their babies were back to their normal selves once they hit 5 months so I kept telling myself to just hang in there for a few more weeks and that this was temporary. Well, 5 months came around and nothing was changing. I was getting little to no sleep and was SO tired and grumpy and frustrated. I knew something needed to change, but I couldn’t even fathom him not being in the same room with us, that honestly wasn’t even an option.

I had ALWAYS said Hayes would be in our room for the first 6 months at the very very least, and honestly deep down I figured he’d be in our room until our next baby came and forced him out haha. I ended up talking to a few girlfriends who had recently done the Ferber method with their babes, also known as the “cry it out” and I was like “LOL NOPE, no way, can’t”. I ended up trying out the “Moms On Call” schedule that is supposed to help babies sleep through the night, and that didn’t work…I was going on 2 months of basically 30 minutes of sleep a night and I was LOSING it y’all. I was not myself and I didn’t have the energy to play and entertain Hayes during the day, and the littlest things were starting to make me have meltdowns and I was just DONE. I had lunch with one of my girlfriends who has a baby girl just 2 days older than Hayes and she was telling me about her experiences on sleep training.
She, along with a ton of other people basically told me that it would be 3 really really rough nights but then Hayes would be sleeping through the night and it would all be SO worth it. I knew it was time for Hayes to be in his own room, but it totally broke my heart.

The thought of my sweet baby boy not being right next to me absolutely killed me and I just couldn’t even comprehend it. Would I be able to stop staring at the monitor? Would he be okay? Would he think I abandoned him?! Will this make him grow up even faster?!

It was not an easy decision but it was one that HAD to be made. Kyle and I were so exhausted from no sleep and we both agreed that we were going to “sleep train” Hayes. My plan was to follow the Ferber Method, but kind of do it my own way. I was going to see how Hayes acted and how things went and if I wasn’t comfortable with hearing him cry then I was going to do whatever the heck I wanted to do no matter what the “method” said. I pretty much made myself SICK the day leading up to the night of “sleep training”. I did try to have him nap in his crib first before putting him there at night, so we did a few days on and off of him napping in his crib. Naps have always been hit or miss with him so some days he would fall asleep for an hour and some days he wouldn’t fall asleep at all.

ANYWAYS, the night came…the night that we were going to sleep train and that I was going to have to listen to my baby cry and I was going to be a crying mess myself…I was SO sick that entire day just thinking about how hard the next few nights would be…
Well, we did our normal bedtime routine, I sat in the rocking chair and I nursed him and he always falls somewhat asleep during his bedtime nursing session…I gently set him in his crib and I walked out. I stared at the monitor ALL NIGHT LONG, just waiting for him to wake up scared and screaming and needing me. I didn’t sleep for even 5 minutes that night because I just knew he was going to wake up ANY MINUTE. Well, he slept through the ENTIRE night…didn’t even make a peep! I was in complete shock. The next night wasn’t as easy but it wasn’t hard at all, he woke up a few times and cried but no longer than 2 minutes each time and I never had to go in there, he would end up soothing himself and falling back asleep.

{TRUST ME I’m aware that we are EXTREMELY LUCKY and this is not normal for most babies…most parents have to suffer through a few nights or weeks of hearing their babies cry and scream and it is absolutely awful and devastating…so please don’t think that I’m assuming sleep training is easy..we are SO fortunate and didn’t really have to “sleep train”.
I’m not telling y’all that if you do what we did your baby will magically sleep through the night, I’m just sharing my experiences and honestly I think Hayes was ready to be in his own room way before we moved him but I just wasn’t ready}

He has done SO well and has LOVED being in his own room and seriously sleeps so much better.
It’s also nice because we put him down around 7:30 and Kyle and I can hang out together or watch Netflix // just have some time as the two of us with no distractions.

One thing I’ve realized is that babies make a lot of noises when they sleep, sometimes they even cry in their sleep and when your baby is right next to you your natural instinct is to jump up and grab them. I can’t tell y’all how many times Hayes has been in his own room and has let out a big cry (in his sleep) only to be silent and content just 15 seconds later…Also, I know Kyle and I make noises in our sleep too which I’m sure would wake Hayes up when he was in our room!

It’s been exactly one month since we moved him into his own room, and every night hasn’t been perfect but we are ALL getting so much more sleep now than we were when he was in our room. We went out of town and it’s taken him a week or so to get adjusted again, he was waking up about once or twice a night because he’s teething and just wants to nurse for comfort and to soothe those aching gums, but he slept all night last night! I’m not really following any plan or method. If I can tell his cries are “fake” then I will let him cry for a little while and see if he ends up soothing himself, if he’s crying hard I’ll typically go in there and rub his back and try to calm him, and every now and then I’ll have to pick him up and nurse him.

Every day is different, and that’s okay.
I’ve been trying to get him to nap in his crib for 30 minutes now, & I gave up & he’s attached to my boob on the couch.
Give yourself grace mamas, & know that it’s okay to not be on a schedule.
& it’s also okay to be on a strict schedule.
If co sleeping works for you then DO IT.
YOU DO YOU MAMA.

With allllllll that being said, I really think Hayes was ready to be in his own room, it was definitely way harder on me to move him than it was for him. He loves his crib and also loves sleeping on his tummy!

Things that I believe help Hayes sleep more soundly and through the night: 
#1. Magic Sleep Suit
We’ve tried to transition him out of this and it’s been awful so we’re sticking to it for as long as we can. He prefers to sleep on his tummy now and he can lift up his head/entire body while wearing the suit so I haven’t found the suit to be dangerous whatsoever. We keep it cool in our house at night so there’s no chance of him overheating. He LOVES this suit and it makes him feel secure and cuddled all night long and he sleeps SO much better when he’s wearing it.
#2. Sound machine
I linked the one we have and it is AWESOME, it is a sound machine + night light and it has multiple different sound options, we’ve been using the rain sound and Hayes loves it! I will never use another sound machine – this once is seriously THE BOMB.
#3. Diffusing Essential Oils
I have a diffuser in Hayes’s room and I diffuse lavender during his naps and bedtime and I just feel like it makes it extra calm and relaxing in there
#4. Black out shade
We just got this super cheap one from Home Depot and it gets the job done!!
#5. Going to bed around the same time every night
This is super important, it does limit your night life as a parent BUT if we try to keep Hayes up past his bedtime (7:30/8) he gets super grumpy and it’s way harder to put him down and get him settled at night, and the later you put them down DOES NOT mean that they will wake up later – every now and then you may get lucky but typically they will wake up at their usual time no matter how late you put them down.
#6. Fill up their bellies REALLY WELL during the day! Make sure they get all of their nursing sessions in.
I had no clue that this affected their sleep (total newbie) I thought the older they got the longer they could go between feedings, NOPE. You should continue feeding your babe around every 3 hours or whenever they are hungry during the day!
I was trying to have Hayes go every 4 hours and he was waking up way more often at night.
I feed him every 2-3 hours during the day now and he sleeps so much better at night.
Apparently most people already know this, BUT I didn’t so I figured I’d share that with y’all just in case.

Feel free to comment any questions you have here or on my latest Instagram post!!

Just a few of our favorite things!

Sheesh, it’s been a while since I got a blog post up, and I’m SO sorry about that y’all!!
Mom life is ALL consuming. I’ve been so distracted and honestly, so lazy.
My mind has been going crazy with all kinds of blog post ideas but I haven’t sat down and taken the time to just be still and W R I T E.
I’ve also found myself prioritizing social media lately and I definitely don’t want to make that a habit.
This blog of mine is so special to me and I love that I can come on here and express myself and share my experiences and feelings and life with y’all, of course I can do that on social media as well…
But the fact that this Blog is MINE, I own it, I created it, and pour my heart into it regularly…
It’s just an extra special place!

Well, ANYWAYS…Let’s get on to today’s post…
I know a lot of you who follow me are currently pregnant or are new mamas!
So I wanted to share a few of mine and Hayes’s favorite things!!

Favorite baby essentials:

Favorite Diapers: Up&Up
We’ve tried a few (4) different brands and the Up&Up diapers have been the best for Hayes, I love how they fit him and he very rarely has any leaks and they’re seriously SO soft!!

Favorite Bottles: Munchkin Latch (currently using level 3 nipple)
Okay y’all, if you follow me on Instagram you know we had a ROUGH time getting Hayes to take a bottle…I ended up purchasing a bunch of different brands and

Favorite Swaddle: The Ollie Swaddle
Hands down, no questions asked, we use it every single night and he can’t escape from it! It’s made of a breathable fabric and is velcro so it’s SUPER easy, even for newbies!

Favorite Pacifier: Wubbanub 
Hayes has NEVER been into pacifiers, he took a Natursutten occasionally but I would always have to hold it in his mouth for him. He has completely fallen in love with his wubba, holds it himself and gets SO excited when he sees it! I think the stuffed animal aspect helps comfort him and it’s the sweetest thing ever!

Favorite Carrier: Boppy Carrier
I also have a Solly and a Wildbird carrier but the Boppy carrier is more sturdy and seriously SO much easier// more convenient!!! Solly and wildbird are great for around the house, but then again so is the boppy haha

Favorite Wipes: Young Living Lavender Wipes // or Pampers Pure
I love everything about the young living wipes, they smell phenomenal, they are a bit pricey though and you need to have an account to order some, I highly suggest ordering the starter kit, you get all of the main oils (we use oils for bedtime/diffusing/tummy issues etc) We love pampers pure wipes as well!

Favorite Blankets: Little Unicorn Quilts and Carters Swaddle blankets
We have 2 of the Little Unicorn quilts in different prints and we seriously LOVE them and use them every day for different things – they’re perfect for laying down for tummy time & naps and GREAT for when it’s cooler outside. These swaddle blankets are also super soft and cozy but more lightweight and easy to throw in the diaper bag//take anywhere!

Favorite Play Mat: Simple + Not obnoxious or Fun & Interactive
Okay, this Pottery Barn play mat is by far the cutest//least obnoxious play mat ever invented and Hayes loves it!! I just purchased this interactive one after seeing so many other people share their babies using it and having SO much fun, Hayes hasn’t used it yet but I have a feeling we’re both going to have SO much fun with it!

Favorite Burp Cloths: These swaddles make excellent burp cloths
They’re big and absorbent and get the job done!

Favorite Bath Soap: Honest shampoo & body wash

Favorite Lotion: 100% Organic Coconut Oil
Been lathering little dude in this since he was born and it’s been so good for his skin!

Favorite Pump Accessories: THIS hands free pumping bra & this Haakaa pump & THESE storage bags 

Favorite Diaper Bag: Fawn Design & Freshly Picked 
I find backpack diaper bags WAY more convenient and I honestly can’t even imagine using a regular bag.

Favorite Jammies: Anything that ZIPS! Like this or these

Favorite Towels: Cloud Island
I have a severe obsession with hooded towels…like it’s bad, I think we have 928 hooded towels…but they’re SO DANG CUTE.

Favorite thing to put Hayes in while I shower/get ready: Bjorn Bouncer & Dock A Tot 

Our Bassinet: Halo 

You can easily shop all of the products I mentioned by clicking on the picture below!

If I missed anything that y’all are curious about leave me a comment and I’ll add it to the post as soon as I can!!
Hope all of you have a fun & relaxing weekend!!

How I manage to get any sleep as a new mama

Okay so I totally struggled with what to title this post because we aren’t exactly on a “schedule” yet,
more like a night time routine that happens often, but not always lol

We are officially parents of an ALMOST 1 month old… WHAT?!? So crazy to me.
Our pediatrician told us at our last appointment that there’s really no reason to try and get Hayes on a strict schedule yet, he’s still so little and is kind of going to be doing what he wants when he wants, so right now I just nurse him when he’s hungry, and let him sleep when he’s sleeping.
However, I have been trying to keep him awake a little more during the day time so that he understands day from night a little better!

Alright, here we go…
As a new mama it is SO hard to start a schedule… you’re in survival mode, you’re exhausted,
and honestly, the last thing you want is to be following a timeline or a schedule…
So, unlike most people, I’ve been pretty chill about the whole schedule thing.
Will I regret this later? maybe? maybe not? Who knows.
But this is what’s been working for us right now!!

So we currently bathe Hayes twice a week, we’ve designated Tuesdays and Fridays as our bath days!
Newborns have super sensitive skin and they really don’t get dirty, so if you bathe them
too often it can cause their skin to majorly dry out and start peeling.
Kyle gets home from work around 5:30/6 and we typically go on a little family walk.
On Tuesdays and Fridays (bath nights) we try to give Hayes his bath around 7:30!
After his bath we put coconut oil all over his little body as a lotion/moisturizer,
and then we “prep the house” for bed – This step is SUPER important.
My sweet friend Jamie filled me in on this and I’m SO thankful she did….
So babies are VERY easily overstimulated.
So at night time, we make sure to dim all the lights in the house, make sure the TV isn’t too loud and keep things as calm and “night time” like as possible.

So in order for me to get a couple hours of uninterrupted sleep, I nurse Hayes and go to bed around 8 or 9.
Kyle stays up with him and they hang out in the living room and if he happens to get hungry again Kyle will give him a bottle of my breastmilk so I can rest.
At first I was really nervous to give Hayes a bottle, I was so worried that giving him a bottle would make him not want to breastfeed, BUT after a week of pretty much NO sleep whatsoever, you’ll do anything lol
And good news, he still prefers his mama!

So when I go to bed around 8 or 9, this is when my “main sleep” happens. I know Hayes is being cared for by his daddy and I don’t have to feed him anytime soon since he’ll be getting a bottle and I can finally relax.
This sleep stretch can be anywhere from 1-4 hours.
Those 4 hour nights are extremely rare but goodness they’re incredible and make me feel like I can conquer the world! Those 1 hour nights are TOUGH and are when Hayes is cluster feeding or can only be soothed by his mama.

Around 11 or 12 they’ll both come to bed and Hayes is typically ready to eat again,
so i’ll nurse him, change his diaper and then mama night shift begins!
Every night is different, Hayes typically wakes up about every 2 hours to eat, and I’ll feed him, burp him and change him.
Occasionally he’ll want to eat every hour and those nights are longggggg and tough, life with a newborn is just really unpredictable!
I stay in bed when I nurse him and Kyle is usually able to sleep through it, which is good!

I’m sure I’ll get some questions about this so I’ll go ahead and answer!!
Yes, Hayes sleeps in bed with us and No, I never thought/planned we would be co sleeping.
He sleeps right in between us in his Dock A Tot and I love having him close by, for right now.
He’s still my tiny little newborn and I totally get separation anxiety when I can’t see or hear him.
Although I LOVE having Hayes right next to me, Kyle and I are definitely missing going to bed together and sleeping next to each other, so I’m not sure how long this “routine” and co sleeping thing are going to last.
BUT for right now, it’s what works for us!

I also want to share a few things that I think really help Hayes sleep at night!
Kyle and I have always had the TV on at night when we fall asleep but ladies and gentlemen,
that is now a thing of the past.
I started to notice pretty quickly that the flashing lights from the TV were keeping Hayes awake
and it was amazing how quickly he would settle down once the TV was off!
Another thing that I think is a total miracle worker is “shushing”,
I’m pretty sure they make actual devices that do this but we use Kyle’s work phone and just
youtube “8-10 hours of baby shushing” and it really does soothe Hayes, and honestly it soothes us too! lol

I always have a pacifier close by as well, sometimes Hayes will take it and sometimes he won’t,
but those nights that he does take it, it’s a life saver!
We’ve also been using some Essential Oils for bed time, diffusing and also applying to Hayes’s little feet.
Let me know if y’all are interested in knowing more about which oils we’ve been using.

I know a lot of you were hoping for some kind of routine or daily schedule post,
but that’s just not our reality right now. I hope this was at least somewhat helpful though!!
To all you mamas reading this, IT’S ALMOST THE WEEKEND!!!!!

Top 10 Registry items for new moms

Happy Monday Y’all!!
I put on real clothes TWICE this weekend, and it felt SO dang good…linking my outfit for y’all below.


I absolutely LOVE receiving emails and messages from y’all asking questions and giving me blog topic ideas!! I’ve received tons of messages lately asking about my registry and what items I’ve used the most so far!
So today I’m sharing some Baby Registry MUST HAVES.
Now, I’ve only been a mama for 2 weeks now so I’m going to share things we’ve been using nonstop
the last 2 weeks!

Ideally I would’ve loved to do this post when he was a few months old so I could really tell y’all what we’re loving/using BUT I know a lot of you are due soon and would like this info sooner rather than later…
Also, some of these items are worth purchasing immediately so you know for sure you’ll have them when baby arrives! I had all of these on my registry and honestly I think I had to purchase like 90% of them myself because people love buying cutesie stuff and not functional stuff! haha
So here we go!

My #1 MUST HAVE: Dock A Tot

Yes, it is expensive. Yes, it is 100% WORTH it.
This has been our most used, most trusted, most successful item.
I think at least twice a day Kyle or I say how grateful we are for the Dock A Tot.
This is not sponsored in any way shape or form, it’s just helped us SO much.
Hayes loves to hang out in it during the day, he sleeps in it in bed with us at night.
Every morning I’ve been able to wake up and shower, I change him, feed him,
set him in his Dock A Tot by the shower where I can see him and he just chills out while I get ready for the day.
WARNING: A lot of people will look at this item on your registry and think it looks silly/unnecessary/expensive and they won’t buy it…it’s totally worth purchasing yourself.
My mom told me when she saw it on my registry she kind of laughed because it looked completely random and kind of unnecessary, and now she sees how much we use it and she’s like
“Oh wow, ya that thing is worth every penny”

{Alright, the rest of these are in no particular order!}

#2 Good Nursing Bras

This isn’t necessarily something I would put on my registry haha but it’s definitely a MUST HAVE.
If you’re breastfeeding it’s SO important to have some nursing bras that are comfortable and functional.
I wear these exact ones ALL the time, and I’m totally about to buy more because I love them so much!

#3 Wipe Warmer

So many people told me that this was totally unnecessary, but I’m so glad I have it.
Babies HATE getting their diapers changed, they’re cold and naked and uncomfortable.
Throwing a cold wipe on them is not going to make the situation any better.
These are not expensive at all and I think they help a ton, Especially if you have a little boy!

#4 Handsfree Pumping Bra

I totally assumed all pumps come with these bras, but they DO NOT.
I have this one in a size medium and LOVE it.

#5 Drying rack

This is essential especially if you’re pumping // bottle feeding.
I’m breastfeeding and I only pump occasionally but it’s already been used MULTIPLE times.
I also love the white color, I’m a huge fan of baby items that blend in and aren’t obnoxious haha

#6 Swing/Bouncer/Rock n Play

So we have a swing, but I really think any of these options are great, and babies typically love them all.
Babies love movement, and movement is great for babies who have colic or are gassy and get an upset tummy regularly, make sure you register for or get yourself some kind of soothing swing/bouncer.

#7 Carseat Cover/Nursing Cover

You’re taking your baby out into the world for the first few times and the last thing you want is random strangers gawking over your freshly birthed child, or even worse, TOUCHING your freshly birthed child.
This thing will come in handy for basically ever, well or until you’re done breastfeeding!

#8 Bottles / Even if breastfeeding

Okay y’all, for those of you mamas who are determined to ONLY breastfeed and not even pump/give breastmilk from a bottle…it’s still GOOD to have bottles on hand. You are going to be worn out, and hurting, and exhausted and no matter how determined you are to NOT give your baby a bottle, you just never know what choices you may make at 3 am after you’ve already been woken up every 45 minutes to a hungry/needy baby…Just sayin’, it’s better to be safe/prepared than sorry/exhausted.
OR if you’re having issues breastfeeding/baby latching it’s just great to have a back up plan!

#9 Good Rocking Chair

This is the one we have and I LOVE it, it’s small enough that we can kind of put it anywhere in the house, it’s been in our living room since Hayes was born and we both love holding him while sitting in there, it’s also super comfy for nursing.

#10 BACKPACK Diaper Bag

{I have a Fawn Design one that I LOVE and I’ll be doing a full blog post on it super soon}
I ended up buying a regular shoulder diaper bag and I seriously don’t think I’ll ever use it.
Backpacks are SO much more convenient and comfortable and I HIGHLY suggest you get yourself one,
we have one for me and a more “manly” one for Kyle!!

Okay y’all, I hope this was somewhat helpful!! I don’t have as much time to spend on writing up blog posts for y’all but I figure a short and somewhat rushed post is still better than nothing! haha
I’ll try to do an updated list of “must haves” in a few weeks!
Right now, this kid just eats, sleeps and poops so there really aren’t TOO many essential items or big items that we swear by, I know that’ll change so soon though!
I’ll be able to share a lot more good info with y’all as he continues to grow and as I
continue to learn more about mom life!

Thanks so much for stopping by and supporting this little blog of mine!!

Hayes’s Birth Story

On February 25th our world completely changed.
Our sweet baby boy was born at 3:35 am, weighing in at 7 lbs and 9 oz.


As most of you already know, last Tuesday my doctor had told us that the baby could come at anytime.
At my 38 week appointment I was 3cm dilated and 70% effaced and my doctor said he’d be coming soon, possibly even within the next 24 hours.
So we had been anxiously awaiting his arrival for the past 4 nights!! Total torture lol
It was super scary because I really had no signs of labor, I couldn’t believe that I was already dilated.
I mean, I would get period like cramps and pelvic pressure every now and then but nothing super painful or uncomfortable! I was so afraid that I just wasn’t going to know when I was going into labor and that I’d end up having my baby in the car or something! Like, I’m not kidding this was seriously a HUGE fear of mine.

We woke up Saturday morning and everything was pretty normal, I had brunch plans with my two best friends and I remember driving to meet them and having SO much anxiety. That was the first time I had been alone since my doctor told me that I could go into labor super soon. I had the worst stomach ache and genuinely thought I might go into labor while at brunch because of the anxious feeling I had, I really thought it was the Lord preparing me and letting me know that it was about to happen. BUT once I made it to the restaurant my nerves went away! So I think it was just the scary feeling of being alone and not wanting it to happen when I was by myself.

After brunch I got home and we decided to go to a park near the house with Charley and get some walking in! I had been walking a ton the last two weeks to try and help move baby boy down and get things moving along. But I was pretty convinced he was going to show up after his due date even though the doctor said otherwise. Mainly because I hadn’t had any contractions or real signs of labor whatsoever!

There really wasn’t anything abnormal or exciting about our day until that evening.
Around 7 or 8 I started to feel a TON of pressure downstairs, and this was a kind of pressure that I wasn’t used too. I would occasionally feel pressure off and on the last few weeks but this was pretty constant and super uncomfortable. But of course pressure is just pressure and doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going into labor, so part of me thought it COULD mean labor was soon, but then another part of me kind of just dismissed it.

Our nights and schedules had been a little crazy since the doctor had told us baby could arrive at any time, we were pretty much on edge all week and SO anxious knowing that any moment could be THE moment.
We weren’t sleeping well and we weren’t eating well, and I was exhausted from nesting like a maniac constantly. On Saturday night once all the pressure subsided a bit I decided to vacuum and mop the entire house. lol I honestly can’t even tell you how many times I vacuumed that week, an unhealthy and unnecessary amount, that’s for sure!

We ended up crawling into bed around 11pm, and that’s when the story starts to get interesting.
I had been laying in bed for maybe about 5 minutes and all the sudden felt a very strong cramp like pain, and I immediately KNEW, this was different. I said “ouchhhh…” out loud.
and told Kyle, “I think I just had a contraction”. I stood up and told Kyle I was going to call my mom.
I started walking to our bathroom and as soon as I got to the sink I was already having another one.
I called my mom and was in tears because I was nervous. I told her I had two pretty painful “cramps” and she told me that we need to time them, but before she could even finish telling me I was already having another one. I was crying and scared at this point. Everything and everyone says to wait an hour and make sure your contractions are strong and consistent but I knew I couldn’t do that.
So Kyle and I decided we were going to go to the hospital, but we weren’t going to tell the rest of the family until we got there and knew for sure if it was the real deal.

Our hospital is about 40 minutes away and I always feared I’d go into labor during traffic hour or something, and I have also been so afraid of going to the hospital too early or when I wasn’t actually in labor and looking like an idiot. Even though I KNOW this happens literally all the time, I just didn’t want it to happen to me. So I told Kyle I was going to put a little makeup on and for us to maybe wait for 30 minutes just to see and then we could leave…
I had put on a little powder and the contractions were still coming every 4 minutes or less and getting stronger so I said “K, nope, we need to leave NOW”

We left our house to head to the hospital around 11:30pm,
the contractions started to get worse and closer together. They were about 2 minutes apart the entire ride to the hospital. They weren’t unbearable, but they were definitely painful and I had to hold onto something tight and take deep breaths through them. At this point we knew it was the real deal so Kyle went ahead and called his parents. We arrived to the hospital a little after midnight and they took me back to check me and see if I was actually in labor.
By the time we arrived to the hospital the contractions were extremely painful and about 1 minute apart.
I was 4.5 cm dilated when she first checked me, so they admitted me and got us into a room.
Once I was in a gown and in a room I got in the bed and was in SO much pain.
I couldn’t open my eyes, I just remember holding on SO tight to Kyle’s hand and the railing of the bed, and trying to breathe through each contraction, and then my body started making these moaning sounds trying to cope with the pain that I was feeling. At this point I was begging for an epidural and starting to panic because the pain was a lot worse than I ever imagined it being. I think I would’ve handled the pain better if the contractions wouldn’t have been SO close together, they were literally back to back and I just wasn’t getting a break whatsoever. My parents showed up not long after I got in the room and I couldn’t even greet them because I was just in survival mode at this point. I had one hand in Kyles, one holding on for dear life to the railing and my parents standing over me comforting me the best they could.

My eyes were closed my entire labor, so it all kind of feels completely surreal. Almost like an out of body experience. Every now and then I would open my eyes to try and focus on something in the room to help with the pain but that’s really the only time they were open. We had been there for about an hour and I had asked for an epidural about a million times it seemed like and it was taking SO long. My nurse checked me again and I had progressed to 7cm within 1 hour. This whole part of my labor is a bit of a blur because I was just in so much pain. But I remember the anesthesiologist coming in and them saying it was time for my epidural and I was SO relieved. They made everyone get out of the room and had me sit indian style on the bed. It took me a while to do that because my contractions were so strong and coming on so quickly.
I was always afraid of getting an epidural while I was pregnant, the needle, the being completely numb, just everything about it. Well, in that moment I had NO fear whatsoever and just wanted it ASAP.
Since I was in so much pain they gave me a spinal block which works immediately to help ease pain. Epidurals take about 30 minutes or so to kick in, so they gave me a spinal block and then did the epidural afterwards. Once it was done I laid down and Kyle and my parents came back in the room.
I finally felt some relief. I could breathe normally again, and it was incredible.
However, I could still feel the intense pressure of every contraction and would have to stop talking and breathe through them. I’ve always been told that once you get an epidural you’re literally on cloud 9 and completely numb, so I was really surprised/disappointed when I could still feel the terrible pressure of each contraction, but the anesthesiologists and all the nurses said that epidurals don’t take away the pressure, just the pain.
So I guess there ya have it.

Once I was out of some pain Kyles mom, sister and brother in law came in to see us.
I think it was about 30 minutes of them being in there (felt like 5) and all of the sudden I started to feel pain with the contractions again. I had a little clicker that was supposed to give me more pain relief every 8 minutes when I clicked it and I started pounding on it like a maniac but it wasn’t working.
Kyle made everyone leave the room except my mom and I started having to focus super hard on my breathing and moan through each contraction again. They were every minute like clockwork.

Kyle was absolutely amazing my entire labor, right by my side the entire time, letting me squeeze the crap out of his fingers and comforting me and supporting me and encouraging me every way he knew how.
Maybe another 30 minutes passed by and the contractions and pressure were unbearable again.
I all the sudden started to feel the need to push with each contraction so my mom ran to tell the nurse.
She came in to check me and I was 9.5cm dilated but she told me that I couldn’t push yet,
The doctor hadn’t arrived and if I push before I’m 10 cm dilated it could really damage my cervix.

This infuriated me because I truly had NO control over the urge to push, a contraction would come and my body would just completely take over and start pushing. It was just Kyle, my mom and me in the room and I knew I couldn’t wait any longer…another contraction came and I shouted “I’m pushingggggg, I can’t stop it I’M PUSHING” So my mom ran and got the nurse and before I knew it the room was full of people.
My doctor still hadn’t arrived so there was a doctor on call (who looked extremely nervous, Kyle says) and she told me that it would really be best if I could hold off on pushing for a few more minutes but if I absolutely need to push then it’s okay. Well, I absolutely NEEDED too.

They had me lay on my side to try and “ease” the pain and hold off pushing and then another contraction came and I was shouting “I’m pushing!!!!!” again. There was a loud POP and then a total explosion of water. Thank God I had blankets over me, otherwise I’m pretty sure that entire room of people would’ve been covered in my amniotic fluid. I specifically remember saying “my water just broke” but of course everyone around was extremely aware of that haha

Once my water broke they told me to lay on my back, scooted me down on the bed and it was really time to push. I’m not sure how many times I pushed but my doctor FINALLY arrived right as Hayes was crowning. He walked in and saw what was going on and was in complete shock. I had about 3 more contractions, Would take a deep breath in and then PUSH hard for 10 seconds holding my breath – I could feel his head slowly coming out while I was pushing but then go back in once I would need to take a breath again. There were SO many people around me cheering me on and encouraging me and I just remember with each contraction the urge to push was so incredibly overwhelming. By about my 3rd contraction his head was out and his body followed pretty easily afterwards, and then he was in my arms.
At 3:35AM my baby was in my arms.
A tiny, breathing, crying little human that Kyle and I made was laying on my chest and all of my pain was instantly gone.
I remember crying and saying “oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh” over and over.
There are no words to even explain the emotions and RELIEF you feel once they lay your baby on your chest.

One thing I wasn’t really prepared for was delivering the placenta.
After they laid Hayes on my chest my doctor started pushing down super hard on my stomach to help get the placenta out. I tore, so he also stitched me up while Hayes and I were doing skin to skin.
I could feel each stitch go in and my legs never became numb the entire time.
I remember after Hayes and I did skin to skin and I nursed him, it was time for them to weigh him and everything, and I told my nurse I needed to pee and I could stand up perfectly fine.
So for some reason, my epidural didn’t fully take, and I felt A LOT more than I was hoping too.
But let me tell you, birthing a child is the most empowering thing you will EVER do.
I have never felt more proud of my body and more accomplished in my life.

After my nurse helped me use the restroom, I walked out to see Kyle holding Hayes.
Easily, the best moment of my entire life.

My heart immediately exploded and I couldn’t believe that any of this was real.
After about an hour my dad and the rest of the family that was there came in to see Hayes.
Then our family went home to get some rest and give us some time as a new family of three.
I remember all of the doctors and nurses freaking out and telling me that I literally just had the most perfect birth. That NO ONE, especially first time mamas, deliver a baby so quickly.
My doctor even told us that once they called him when I was 9cm dilated (around 3:00am)
that he wasn’t planning on showing up until around 10AM and figured I’d deliver around noon, because that’s how long labor typically takes for first time moms.
Which completely blows my mind because I truly can’t imagine going through everything I went through longer than I did…God bless all you mamas who have had super tough long labors. Y’all are absolutely incredible!!!

Kyle and I spent the rest of that morning in total shock, we just stared at Hayes and at each other and couldn’t believe what we just experienced together. Kyle watched pretty much the entire birth and couldn’t stop telling me how proud he was of me.

It’s crazy how much my love for Kyle has grown so much in just 4 days, He is SO good with Hayes, and has been SO helpful while my body recovers. Ugh, I’m crying right now with Hayes on my chest just thinking about how lucky we both are to have Kyle. He is the best daddy in the entire world and makes me want to be better and stronger for our little boy.
My world will never be the same, and gosh I’m so thankful for that.
We are all exhausted, but our hearts have never been so full.

Thank you Lord for this beautiful baby boy, thank you for loving us and giving us this precious gift even though we fail you every single day. We are so undeserving and so grateful that you’re trusting us with Hayes. Thank you for blessing me with such a supportive and loving husband. I pray that you will give me the strength and patience that I need to be the best wife and mama to Hayes.
Kyle and I constantly stare in awe at Hayes with so much love in our hearts,
and It’s crazy to think that you love all of us EVEN more.

(right after he was born)

(headed home from the hospital)


(two days old)


(three days old)


Mommy and Daddy love you more than you will ever know sweet boy.