Alright guys…I’ve seen SO many articles and blog posts on
“gross things that happen during labor that no one warns you about”
but what about all of the weird/gross things that happen during pregnancy that no one warns you about?!
Of course, you hear about all of the basic/normal symptoms…
sore boobs, nausea, heartburn, fatigue etc…

But no one has ever really gone in depth about the severity of these symptoms OR the other weird/unpleasant things that happen. So friends, that’s what I’m here for.
Today I’m laying it ALL out there.

So if you’re a guy reading this, I suggest you STOP, exit out, turn away, don’t go any further.
If you get grossed out easily or have a weak stomach – this post may not be for you.

This post is for my ladies who want to get pregnant soon & like to be prepared, and to my ladies who are currently suffering through these weird/crazy symptoms, and to my ladies who have been there done that and are ready to look back and laugh at the ridiculous things we have to go through.

DISCLAIMER: I’ve actually had a super easygoing and enjoyable pregnancy so far, so keep in mind that some people go through WAY worse things than what I’m about to share with y’all. Also, everyone’s body and pregnancy are totally different, so even if you become pregnant soon or are pregnant – you may not be experiencing these same symptoms at all or you could have these plus a million others.

The beauty of pregnancy is you really have no freaking idea how your body is going to react to it,
BUT in the end you get the most precious gift, and all of these aches and pains are so unbelievably worth it, and that’s why people have multiple babies and do it over and over again…so enjoy the ride y’all!

Let’s get right down to it…
Pregnancy is the most amazing and beautiful thing in the world, being able to carry a child is one of the biggest blessings anyone could ever receive.

And with that blessing comes…
tears, farts..(so many farts), snoring, stretch marks, strange dreams, swelling, all kinds of swelling – like swelling in places you didn’t even know could swell, peeing (on yourself), shortness of breath, so many veins, rashes, hemorrhoids, constipation, diarrhea, emotional breakdowns, irrational thoughts, sweating profusely (like serious uncontrollable sweating), break outs from all the sweating, hot flashes, bloody nose, bloody gums, insomnia, fatigue…Have I terrified you yet?!?!
DON’T WORRY we all go through these things and we all survive.
The days of pregnancy are long, but the weeks fly by.

The first and second trimesters almost seem like a blur to me now that I’m nearing the end…
Any symptoms I had in the first two trimesters seem like NOTHING compared to what the third trimester brings on. So I apologize, I may be leaving out some things…

First Trimester Fun:
The first trimester is definitely a tough one…you feel like absolute crap & you’re also most likely trying to hide the fact that you’re pregnant and that you’re feeling like absolute crap.
The majority of people have these symptoms during the first trimester:
Nausea, fatigue, vomiting, food aversions, headaches, sore boobs…
The very first symptom I had was sore boobs — actually it was just my nipples that were sore, and it’s been that way throughout my entire pregnancy.
The next lovely thing that appeared was an increase in discharge…
Thankfully one of my girlfriends warned me about this so I knew I was normal, but if she hadn’t warned me I definitely would’ve thought something was wrong. As long as it doesn’t have a weird color or smell funny you’re totally fine!
Another thing I experienced during the first trimester was cramping, which COMPLETELY terrified me every single time. During your first trimester your body is making A LOT of changes, the main one being your uterus growing and making room for baby. Light cramping is absolutely normal, as long as there’s no blood, but if you ever feel concerned or it isn’t going away call your doctor!

Oh, the dreams you’ll have…they will be EXTREMELY vivid and SO strange. Warning y’all now, you’re not crazy or losing your mind, crazy dreams during pregnancy are totally normal. Mine were absolutely terrible, and scary. Like being involved in mass shootings kind of scary. NO, your dreams are not a sign of what’s going to happen in your future…

So during my first trimester I literally could not be near a vegetable without gagging.
I was lucky and never threw up, but I would definitely get nauseous throughout the day and really bad headaches later in the evenings.
Another thing I was totally unaware of was FEAR during the first trimester,
I already kind of talked about there HERE but, be warned, as soon as you become pregnant you become a mama and the worry starts immediately.

Let’s not forget about pregnancy acne…I was extremely lucky and only had a few break outs throughout my pregnancy, but some women can get severe acne and it will last the entire 9 months. Although my face didn’t break out, I can’t say the same for my body…pimples in the weirdest places y’all…probably from all of the extra sweating…

I also experienced lower back pain during my first trimester, and my feet would HURT like hell if I was on them for too long, which was weird because I thought that typically only happened in the third trimester once you’re carrying more weight…NOPE, can totally happen in the first trimester too y’all!

Second Trimester Fun:
The second trimester is your best friend, well for most of us.
Some of us feel like absolute crap the entire pregnancy, and that’s just how it is. Typically though, you’ll start to get some energy back and feel human again once you hit about 14 weeks. I LOVED the second trimester. For me, there really wasn’t a whole lot of changes besides my belly getting bigger. I did start having some gum bleeding (so random) when I brushed my teeth. A lot of people will start to have Braxton Hicks contractions during the 2nd trimester but I never did…I really don’t feel like anything TOO weird or gross happened during this trimester, besides just an insane amount of gas lol.

Third Trimester Fun: This is when shit get’s REAL
The third trimester is not an easy one by any means. You are about the size of a small hippo and pretty much anything and everything is difficult and exhausting.

1. Snoring/Snorting – Now I actually can’t exactly remember when this lovely symptom came about, it may have even started in my first or second trimester…I didn’t have your typical snoring…I would have these obnoxiously alarming SNORTS in the middle of a deep sleep and they would wake both Kyle and I up every single time.

2. Emotionally Unstable – Thankfully I only had about a week or two of this feeling, I think it was the 2nd week into my third trimester and I was a total nut job. SO emotional, I cried every single day and I honestly didn’t even know why, I would just start crying. Anything and everything Kyle did would hurt my feelings, like seriously, he could’ve done something as simple and random as put a hat on and I would literally just start crying. Total maniac. Thank God that only lasted a week or two. So if you happen to find yourself sobbing over ridiculous things, you’re not alone.

3. Farting – Y’all, pregnancy makes you gassy. It makes you gassy on a whole different level than what you know and are used too, and the best part? You literally cannot control it. I can’t tell you how many times Kyle and I were sitting at our table eating dinner and he would say something to make me laugh and I would immediately fart like 3 times and it was completely out of my control…and then I would laugh even harder and then somehow I always ended up crying and possibly even peeing on myself. Oh and to top it off, they are louder than you ever knew was possible, and smellier too…definitely made Kyle’s eyes water once. Pregnancy is beautiful.

4. Leaking/Discharge – I talked about this a little bit already, but the fun part about discharge is it only increases the further along you get! Oh and sometimes you can’t tell if you’ve peed yourself or you’re just having a lot of discharge…OR maybe you’re leaking amniotic fluid and need to call the dr ASAP?! The possibilities are endless.

5. Veins – There are certain parts of your body that grow during pregnancy that you really enjoy, boobs for instance…watching them grow was actually kind of fun for me…until they literally started to resemble a road map…the veins on my boobs were OUT of control.

6. Grooming – If you’re a girl who enjoys keeping her lady bits trimmed or shaven then you’re in for a FUN RIDE. If you’re not pregnant yet then you might as well start working on your flexibility and stamina now…because attempting to shave ANYTHING (legs included) when you’ve got a belly the size of a basketball is a complete shit show and dang near impossible.

7. Insomnia – This is a fun one, especially because everyone and their cousin is telling you to “sleep while you can!!” “Rest up, because you won’t be sleeping once baby is here” CONSTANTLY…and it makes you feel like you’re the only pregnant person in the world that can’t sleep, but trust me, you’re not.

8. Sex – Now, sex is different for everyone during pregnancy…some can’t get enough and some don’t want to be touched whatsoever…However once your belly resembles a basketball, sex becomes extremely interesting/difficult. If you want to have it you definitely have to get creative. Just imagine strapping a beach ball to your stomach, you can’t see what’s going on down there whatsoever. But hey, if you love a challenge then you’ll really enjoy sex while pregnant, KEEP ON KEEPIN’ ON ladies!

9. Shortness of breath – This is a BIG one…literally everything would cause me to become out of breath…eating, talking, rolling over, laying down…hell I would get out of breath just by breathing?!?!

10. Hemorrhoids – Okay y’all, I had a girlfriend warn me about these…but I totally thought I would be able to avoid them, and I did…until the day before my baby shower…UGGGHH what a LITERAL pain in the ass. When they first showed up I was hysterical, I was so embarrassed and so annoyed and they HURT. I remember calling my mom crying and telling her that I was disgusting…SO ridiculous of me, I know. Well guess what guys? Every single momma I talked too/opened up about it said that they got them too and it’s TOTALLY normal, just not fun whatsoever. So prepare yourselves – and don’t worry they really aren’t THAT bad, I was just being a total drama queen when they first appeared.

11. Urine Samples – Okay guys, when you’re pregnant you have to leave a urine sample (pee in a cup) every time you go to the doctor…you get used to it pretty quickly and it just kind of becomes normal…until your stomach becomes so big that you literally cannot see your crotch and have no earthly idea where you’re peeing. It becomes a very very cruel and daunting task and there will most likely be pee everywhere. Get used to it.

12. Shin splints – This was something I totally didn’t expect but it actually made so much sense…you’re carrying so much extra weight and you’re also walking/carrying your body differently so ya be prepared for your shins to be hurtin’ !

13. Constipation – I was REALLY surprised to not have this problem during pregnancy, since honestly before pregnancy I always had this problem. BUT I guess pregnancy flipped that switch for me (sorry TMI, we’re all family here) But for most people constipation is extremely common during pregnancy – and it’s just something ya kinda gotta deal with.

14. Swelling – I was SO incredibly fortunate to not really have any swelling besides some minor swelling in my hands and feet occasionally. BUT I’m here to tell you that not all people are that lucky (thank you Lord for sparing me in this department). I think the best part is that you can swell literally ANYWHERE…like your lady parts…bless all you mamas with swollen lady parts right now. You are amazing and you GOT this, hang in there!

15. Hot Flashes – These actually started in the first trimester for me…I would be mid conversation with someone and all the sudden get SUPER hot and start sweating and feel my face and chest and everything just start to get red and hot and I would panic and start stripping my clothes off…SUPER fun.

16. Sweating profusely – You will sweat, and you will sweat A LOT. and you will sweat in places that you didn’t even really realize could sweat. (which also leads to body acne, YAY) I specifically remember being at one of my appointments laying on the table waiting for my dr to come check my cervix and all the sudden I could feel sweat dripping down my butt cheeks…it was a low moment for me and I was mortified…but it happens, you’re just a big hot sweaty mess (in the third trimester especially) and that’s kind of just how it is.

17. Peeing – You are going to pee your pants, and that’s okay. If you go your entire pregnancy without peeing on yourself at least a little bit then I will be SUPER shocked. Usually it’s just a little bit and nothing that causes a scene. However, I remember being at dinner with Kyle, my sister and brother in law and I said something ridiculous and started dying laughing…and then peed a little because I was laughing so hard…and then laughed harder because I realized I just peed a little…which led to me peeing a lot…Thank God I was wearing black pants and it was night time…because I just about emptied my whole damn bladder while at the dinner table.

18. Inability to move/bend – There comes a point in pregnancy where you can kind of no longer fend for yourself…bending becomes impossible/painful…and so does getting up from a seated or laying position. It’s a WHOLE process trying to get out of bed in the middle of the night to go pee. Tying your own shoes becomes a thing of the past. If you’re in a position where you’re leaning back at all you will definitely need assistance getting up…if you’re alone you’ll figure it out…there have been many times I’ve had to roll myself to my side and then use all of my upper body strength to try and push myself up…it’s always nice to just have someone lift you though, make sure your husband starts lifting weights if he doesn’t already because you will be heavier than ever haha

19. Leaking boobs – It doesn’t happen to everyone, but it definitely CAN happen. The last thing you want to be doing is walking around Target and look down to see 2 huge wet spots on your nipples…so at the end of pregnancy if you’ve already started producing milk it would be good to start wearing nursing pads, and maybe have a back up shirt in your purse!

20. Feeling like you’ve been pregnant your entire life – Towards the end you kind of start feeling like you’ve been pregnant your entire life, you also feel like you’re going to be pregnant forever…That’s the phase I’m in right now. I’m just SO ready to meet my little guy, and honestly can’t even remember what it was like to NOT be pregnant…the last week/few days are SO tough because you’re uncomfortable and anxious and if it’s your first pregnancy you’re most likely terrified of going into labor and just all of the “unknown” that’s about to happen.

After my appointment on Tuesday (when my doctor told me that my baby could arrive within 24 hours) I have just been SO anxious for his arrival. I’ve been doing anything and everything I can to help “induce labor” but nothing has happened and I’ve honestly just completely worn myself out and I’m just DONE. So today I’m relaxing, I’m taking a step back and soaking in these moments of Hayes in my tummy, when I get to have him all to myself and I’m just enjoying these peaceful and quiet moments while I can.

The waiting game is one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced, I cannot wait to see my baby boy and to hold him and to learn about him. He’s going to come when he’s ready and I’m going to TRY to be more patient and trust in Gods plan. It’s crazy to think that the Lord already knows when Hayes’s birthday is going to be and there’s really no point in me trying to speed up the process.

So i’m off to go relax and feel my baby boys little kicks, no more trying to rush this thing.
God’s got it all under control.