Monica Lee

Hayes’s Birth Story

On February 25th our world completely changed.
Our sweet baby boy was born at 3:35 am, weighing in at 7 lbs and 9 oz.


As most of you already know, last Tuesday my doctor had told us that the baby could come at anytime.
At my 38 week appointment I was 3cm dilated and 70% effaced and my doctor said he’d be coming soon, possibly even within the next 24 hours.
So we had been anxiously awaiting his arrival for the past 4 nights!! Total torture lol
It was super scary because I really had no signs of labor, I couldn’t believe that I was already dilated.
I mean, I would get period like cramps and pelvic pressure every now and then but nothing super painful or uncomfortable! I was so afraid that I just wasn’t going to know when I was going into labor and that I’d end up having my baby in the car or something! Like, I’m not kidding this was seriously a HUGE fear of mine.

We woke up Saturday morning and everything was pretty normal, I had brunch plans with my two best friends and I remember driving to meet them and having SO much anxiety. That was the first time I had been alone since my doctor told me that I could go into labor super soon. I had the worst stomach ache and genuinely thought I might go into labor while at brunch because of the anxious feeling I had, I really thought it was the Lord preparing me and letting me know that it was about to happen. BUT once I made it to the restaurant my nerves went away! So I think it was just the scary feeling of being alone and not wanting it to happen when I was by myself.

After brunch I got home and we decided to go to a park near the house with Charley and get some walking in! I had been walking a ton the last two weeks to try and help move baby boy down and get things moving along. But I was pretty convinced he was going to show up after his due date even though the doctor said otherwise. Mainly because I hadn’t had any contractions or real signs of labor whatsoever!

There really wasn’t anything abnormal or exciting about our day until that evening.
Around 7 or 8 I started to feel a TON of pressure downstairs, and this was a kind of pressure that I wasn’t used too. I would occasionally feel pressure off and on the last few weeks but this was pretty constant and super uncomfortable. But of course pressure is just pressure and doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going into labor, so part of me thought it COULD mean labor was soon, but then another part of me kind of just dismissed it.

Our nights and schedules had been a little crazy since the doctor had told us baby could arrive at any time, we were pretty much on edge all week and SO anxious knowing that any moment could be THE moment.
We weren’t sleeping well and we weren’t eating well, and I was exhausted from nesting like a maniac constantly. On Saturday night once all the pressure subsided a bit I decided to vacuum and mop the entire house. lol I honestly can’t even tell you how many times I vacuumed that week, an unhealthy and unnecessary amount, that’s for sure!

We ended up crawling into bed around 11pm, and that’s when the story starts to get interesting.
I had been laying in bed for maybe about 5 minutes and all the sudden felt a very strong cramp like pain, and I immediately KNEW, this was different. I said “ouchhhh…” out loud.
and told Kyle, “I think I just had a contraction”. I stood up and told Kyle I was going to call my mom.
I started walking to our bathroom and as soon as I got to the sink I was already having another one.
I called my mom and was in tears because I was nervous. I told her I had two pretty painful “cramps” and she told me that we need to time them, but before she could even finish telling me I was already having another one. I was crying and scared at this point. Everything and everyone says to wait an hour and make sure your contractions are strong and consistent but I knew I couldn’t do that.
So Kyle and I decided we were going to go to the hospital, but we weren’t going to tell the rest of the family until we got there and knew for sure if it was the real deal.

Our hospital is about 40 minutes away and I always feared I’d go into labor during traffic hour or something, and I have also been so afraid of going to the hospital too early or when I wasn’t actually in labor and looking like an idiot. Even though I KNOW this happens literally all the time, I just didn’t want it to happen to me. So I told Kyle I was going to put a little makeup on and for us to maybe wait for 30 minutes just to see and then we could leave…
I had put on a little powder and the contractions were still coming every 4 minutes or less and getting stronger so I said “K, nope, we need to leave NOW”

We left our house to head to the hospital around 11:30pm,
the contractions started to get worse and closer together. They were about 2 minutes apart the entire ride to the hospital. They weren’t unbearable, but they were definitely painful and I had to hold onto something tight and take deep breaths through them. At this point we knew it was the real deal so Kyle went ahead and called his parents. We arrived to the hospital a little after midnight and they took me back to check me and see if I was actually in labor.
By the time we arrived to the hospital the contractions were extremely painful and about 1 minute apart.
I was 4.5 cm dilated when she first checked me, so they admitted me and got us into a room.
Once I was in a gown and in a room I got in the bed and was in SO much pain.
I couldn’t open my eyes, I just remember holding on SO tight to Kyle’s hand and the railing of the bed, and trying to breathe through each contraction, and then my body started making these moaning sounds trying to cope with the pain that I was feeling. At this point I was begging for an epidural and starting to panic because the pain was a lot worse than I ever imagined it being. I think I would’ve handled the pain better if the contractions wouldn’t have been SO close together, they were literally back to back and I just wasn’t getting a break whatsoever. My parents showed up not long after I got in the room and I couldn’t even greet them because I was just in survival mode at this point. I had one hand in Kyles, one holding on for dear life to the railing and my parents standing over me comforting me the best they could.

My eyes were closed my entire labor, so it all kind of feels completely surreal. Almost like an out of body experience. Every now and then I would open my eyes to try and focus on something in the room to help with the pain but that’s really the only time they were open. We had been there for about an hour and I had asked for an epidural about a million times it seemed like and it was taking SO long. My nurse checked me again and I had progressed to 7cm within 1 hour. This whole part of my labor is a bit of a blur because I was just in so much pain. But I remember the anesthesiologist coming in and them saying it was time for my epidural and I was SO relieved. They made everyone get out of the room and had me sit indian style on the bed. It took me a while to do that because my contractions were so strong and coming on so quickly.
I was always afraid of getting an epidural while I was pregnant, the needle, the being completely numb, just everything about it. Well, in that moment I had NO fear whatsoever and just wanted it ASAP.
Since I was in so much pain they gave me a spinal block which works immediately to help ease pain. Epidurals take about 30 minutes or so to kick in, so they gave me a spinal block and then did the epidural afterwards. Once it was done I laid down and Kyle and my parents came back in the room.
I finally felt some relief. I could breathe normally again, and it was incredible.
However, I could still feel the intense pressure of every contraction and would have to stop talking and breathe through them. I’ve always been told that once you get an epidural you’re literally on cloud 9 and completely numb, so I was really surprised/disappointed when I could still feel the terrible pressure of each contraction, but the anesthesiologists and all the nurses said that epidurals don’t take away the pressure, just the pain.
So I guess there ya have it.

Once I was out of some pain Kyles mom, sister and brother in law came in to see us.
I think it was about 30 minutes of them being in there (felt like 5) and all of the sudden I started to feel pain with the contractions again. I had a little clicker that was supposed to give me more pain relief every 8 minutes when I clicked it and I started pounding on it like a maniac but it wasn’t working.
Kyle made everyone leave the room except my mom and I started having to focus super hard on my breathing and moan through each contraction again. They were every minute like clockwork.

Kyle was absolutely amazing my entire labor, right by my side the entire time, letting me squeeze the crap out of his fingers and comforting me and supporting me and encouraging me every way he knew how.
Maybe another 30 minutes passed by and the contractions and pressure were unbearable again.
I all the sudden started to feel the need to push with each contraction so my mom ran to tell the nurse.
She came in to check me and I was 9.5cm dilated but she told me that I couldn’t push yet,
The doctor hadn’t arrived and if I push before I’m 10 cm dilated it could really damage my cervix.

This infuriated me because I truly had NO control over the urge to push, a contraction would come and my body would just completely take over and start pushing. It was just Kyle, my mom and me in the room and I knew I couldn’t wait any longer…another contraction came and I shouted “I’m pushingggggg, I can’t stop it I’M PUSHING” So my mom ran and got the nurse and before I knew it the room was full of people.
My doctor still hadn’t arrived so there was a doctor on call (who looked extremely nervous, Kyle says) and she told me that it would really be best if I could hold off on pushing for a few more minutes but if I absolutely need to push then it’s okay. Well, I absolutely NEEDED too.

They had me lay on my side to try and “ease” the pain and hold off pushing and then another contraction came and I was shouting “I’m pushing!!!!!” again. There was a loud POP and then a total explosion of water. Thank God I had blankets over me, otherwise I’m pretty sure that entire room of people would’ve been covered in my amniotic fluid. I specifically remember saying “my water just broke” but of course everyone around was extremely aware of that haha

Once my water broke they told me to lay on my back, scooted me down on the bed and it was really time to push. I’m not sure how many times I pushed but my doctor FINALLY arrived right as Hayes was crowning. He walked in and saw what was going on and was in complete shock. I had about 3 more contractions, Would take a deep breath in and then PUSH hard for 10 seconds holding my breath – I could feel his head slowly coming out while I was pushing but then go back in once I would need to take a breath again. There were SO many people around me cheering me on and encouraging me and I just remember with each contraction the urge to push was so incredibly overwhelming. By about my 3rd contraction his head was out and his body followed pretty easily afterwards, and then he was in my arms.
At 3:35AM my baby was in my arms.
A tiny, breathing, crying little human that Kyle and I made was laying on my chest and all of my pain was instantly gone.
I remember crying and saying “oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh” over and over.
There are no words to even explain the emotions and RELIEF you feel once they lay your baby on your chest.

One thing I wasn’t really prepared for was delivering the placenta.
After they laid Hayes on my chest my doctor started pushing down super hard on my stomach to help get the placenta out. I tore, so he also stitched me up while Hayes and I were doing skin to skin.
I could feel each stitch go in and my legs never became numb the entire time.
I remember after Hayes and I did skin to skin and I nursed him, it was time for them to weigh him and everything, and I told my nurse I needed to pee and I could stand up perfectly fine.
So for some reason, my epidural didn’t fully take, and I felt A LOT more than I was hoping too.
But let me tell you, birthing a child is the most empowering thing you will EVER do.
I have never felt more proud of my body and more accomplished in my life.

After my nurse helped me use the restroom, I walked out to see Kyle holding Hayes.
Easily, the best moment of my entire life.

My heart immediately exploded and I couldn’t believe that any of this was real.
After about an hour my dad and the rest of the family that was there came in to see Hayes.
Then our family went home to get some rest and give us some time as a new family of three.
I remember all of the doctors and nurses freaking out and telling me that I literally just had the most perfect birth. That NO ONE, especially first time mamas, deliver a baby so quickly.
My doctor even told us that once they called him when I was 9cm dilated (around 3:00am)
that he wasn’t planning on showing up until around 10AM and figured I’d deliver around noon, because that’s how long labor typically takes for first time moms.
Which completely blows my mind because I truly can’t imagine going through everything I went through longer than I did…God bless all you mamas who have had super tough long labors. Y’all are absolutely incredible!!!

Kyle and I spent the rest of that morning in total shock, we just stared at Hayes and at each other and couldn’t believe what we just experienced together. Kyle watched pretty much the entire birth and couldn’t stop telling me how proud he was of me.

It’s crazy how much my love for Kyle has grown so much in just 4 days, He is SO good with Hayes, and has been SO helpful while my body recovers. Ugh, I’m crying right now with Hayes on my chest just thinking about how lucky we both are to have Kyle. He is the best daddy in the entire world and makes me want to be better and stronger for our little boy.
My world will never be the same, and gosh I’m so thankful for that.
We are all exhausted, but our hearts have never been so full.

Thank you Lord for this beautiful baby boy, thank you for loving us and giving us this precious gift even though we fail you every single day. We are so undeserving and so grateful that you’re trusting us with Hayes. Thank you for blessing me with such a supportive and loving husband. I pray that you will give me the strength and patience that I need to be the best wife and mama to Hayes.
Kyle and I constantly stare in awe at Hayes with so much love in our hearts,
and It’s crazy to think that you love all of us EVEN more.

(right after he was born)

(headed home from the hospital)


(two days old)


(three days old)


Mommy and Daddy love you more than you will ever know sweet boy.

38 Weeks & 3 Days – BUMP DATE

Today was a wild one y’all.
I had my 38 week appointment and it went COMPLETELY different than I expected it too!

So last week at my 37 week appointment my doctor checked my cervix to see if I was dilated at all.
I wasn’t, which is normal for first time pregnancies.
I was a littleeee disappointed because I’ve been HURTIN’ lately, everything is difficult and uncomfortable…
and of course I just can’t freaking wait to meet my little boy!!
BUT I’ve kind of been expecting Hayes to show up late and after his due date, which is March 4th.

So I went into this appointment preparing myself that most likely, not much had changed,
and I’d still be pregnant for a few more weeks.

My doctor walked into the room and could see in my eyes (& belly) that I was readyyyyy to not be pregnant anymore.
He mentioned that he could do a membrane sweep if I wanted and that would hopefully speed things up a little bit..I never really gave him a clear answer if I wanted one or not and then he went in to check my cervix and all the sudden he goes “WOW…..oh wowwwww….you’re doing GREAT!!!” and I’m just like “????????? wait what?? what’s happening? what does that mean?!” and then he tells me that I’m dilated 3cm and 70% effaced. He said that I’ll most likely have a baby THIS week and he wouldn’t be surprised if I went into labor within the next 24 HOURS!!!!
I’m pretty sure I blacked out after that hahahaha

I was at the appointment by myself so of course I called Kyle immediately and told him the news.
All he said was “…No way” haha I’m pretty sure we were both in complete shock that we could have our baby in our arms SO soon.

After I called/texted everyone and shared the news I got home and sat still for a while,
I honestly don’t know how long but I just sat there in shock and couldn’t believe what my doctor had told me…
I mean, I’ve been pregnant for 9 months you would think news like this wouldn’t have THAT much of an effect on me but SHEESH y’all, knowing that I could go into labor within 24 hours is the CRAZIEST feeling ever.
I think part of me has just felt like the “big day” would never come?! That sounds ridiculous but it’s totally true, so knowing it could come SO quickly is like the craziest thing ever.

Once I snapped out of it I started cleaning and doing laundry and triple checking all of our bags to make sure we had everything we needed for the hospital!

Kyle got home and I told him that we NEEDED to take Charley to the park to get some of her energy out and I insisted he bathed her afterwards so she was nice and fresh for our family members who were going to be taking care of her if I did end up going into labor….
I had a little bit of cramping while at the park but nothing major, I’ve been having random cramping the last few weeks but nothing super painful and to be completely honest I have no earthly idea what the difference is between cramps and contractions? So maybe I’ve been having contractions? Honestly, couldn’t tell ya.

I spent the rest of the night trying to feel EVERY little thing that my body was doing.
Literally any cramp, or movement, or tightness I would be like
“OH MY GOSH IS THIS IT?!”
It was exhausting lol

So with all of that being said, I think I’m going to take a break from my computer and social media for a little while. I want to soak in every single second I have with Kyle and enjoy the quiet moments I have to myself.
Our world could be completely flipped upside down (in the most amazing way) any day now.

I was REALLY hoping to get some pre-written blog posts up for y’all so that I could still post periodically once Hayes gets here but wouldn’t have to do all the work of getting a post up since they’d be pre written…
BUT that hasn’t happened. So please please be patient with me during this transition period.

I’ll start writing again AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. I can’t wait to introduce y’all to our little guy.
But for now, this mama is OUT.

Love y’all so much!!

Weekend Recap – A super cute pregnancy OOTD

Well guys, I’m still pregnant.
Did all the walking and ate all the spicy foods this weekend but there’s still a little guy in my belly.
Guess I’ve just gotta keep being patient!!
We had a fun little double date night on Saturday and I can’t even begin to explain how much I love this top that I wore. I purchased it for after Hayes is born because I loved the loose fit and thought it would be great to hide the postpartum belly, but still look super cute!
Well, apparently it looks adorable while you’re super pregnant too!
There are lots of color options available, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to snag the purple one soon.
I’ve linked my entire outfit for y’all below!





We met up with one of our favorite couples to grab some Mexican food,
and i’m not going to lie…the whole time I kept thinking…
“Omg this could be our last date night before Hayes gets here”
I’m sure y’all are getting sick of all of this pregnancy and baby talk.
SORRY, it’s kind of consuming my life.
Have no fear though, Once Hayes is here there will be a lot more fashion + exercise + lifestyle posts,
and that’s going to happen sometime within the next two weeks so hang in there with me y’all!!
{PLEASE let me know what kind of posts are your favorite, it’s seriously SO helpful.}

Snapped this selfie before dinner.

Kyle is actually off work today so I’m off to go spend some time with him!
Hope everyone has a great Monday!!

The Nesting Has Begun

Well guys, I’ve been wondering when this whole “nesting” itch would kick in and holy crap there was NO stopping me yesterday! I was on my hands and knees scrubbing baseboards and cleaning all kinds of random things around the house. If you follow me on Instagram I’m sure you saw my post about it…

Yes, I’m wearing knee pads…like I said…there was no stopping me.

I think it’s safe to say that our lives have officially been taken over by “preparing for baby”!
Weekends are spent working on//building things for the nursery and weekdays are being spent planning out hospital bags, reading up on baby sleep books, googling all kinds of ridiculous questions, and texting all the new mamas I know asking for ALL THE ADVICE.
{I finally have what I’m going to be packing in my hospital bag planned out –
and YES I’m going to be sharing it with y’all soon!}

This little boy is already taking over our world and he’s not even here yet – but I wouldn’t have it any other way! My body is definitely mad at me for all the work I did yesterday but I feel SO much better knowing that the house is nice and clean…and just a LITTLE bit more ready for Hayes’s arrival..
Which is honestly silly because I’m sure it will be a disaster again in a few days..and we’ve still got 5 weeks until baby boy shows up!
Oh well.

Kyle built an awesome book shelf for the nursery this weekend and I am SO pumped to decorate it.
He’s also building some shelves for the closet which will help a ton with keeping all of Hayes’s things nice and organized.
Everything is slowly coming together and he’ll be here before we know it!
Next up is my baby shower!!!!! I’m wearing this adorable little leopard dress I found for *super* cheap.
Can’t wait to show y’all!

That’s it for today, Happy Tuesday babes!!

Bump Date, Getting closer! – 33 weeks + 4 days

I can’t believe how close we are.
We’re really going to be PARENTS. We’re going to have a SON.
It’s so exciting and so scary all at the same time.
I am just full of feelings lately but the strongest & most consistent feeling is gratitude. 
It blows my mind that the Lord handpicked Kyle and I to be Hayes’s mommy & daddy,
That He considers us worthy and capable of something so amazing.
How did I get so lucky? Why am I receiving these blessings? I ask myself these questions every single day…
I’m so undeserving but so incredibly grateful.


// Knit Doll //

Okay, I’m going to stop talking now and get straight to the bump date because now i’m crying!!!!!

How far along: 33 weeks + 4 days

Due date: March 4th! Measuring right on track!

Gender: ALL boyyyyyy – Hayes Wyatt / Hawk / Bubs / Little Dude / Stinker Butt / I’m sure this list of names will grow tremendously haha

How big is baby? This week, Hayes is as big as celery? haha He weighs 4 lbs 10oz exactly!

Total weight gain/loss: I’ve gained 25 lbs total!

Stretch Marks?: I totally thought I was going to be able to avoid these but I did notice a few on my chest recently…so I’ve been lathering myself in cocoa butter nonstop! But hey, as long as I get a healthy baby boy at the end of this thing a few stretch marks are no big deal!

This week, baby: Has moved into the head down position, and is getting ready for his grand entrance! He now keeps his eyes open while awake and is starting to coordinate breathing with sucking and swallowing.

Exercise: What’s exercise?? HA. I have been stretching a lot more lately because everything is so uncomfortable and tight, I’m still trying to go on long walks as often as possible!

What I’m googling: HOW THE HECK DO I WRITE A BIRTH PLAN. I’ve been trying to finish this since my last bump date 5 weeks ago!! For some reason I’m having the hardest time with it. Also googling “what to pack in my hospital bag”.. and just what the heck to do in general!!

Purchases I’ve made/nesting update: Haven’t really made any new purchases recently. Oh wait, that’s a lie. I bought some super sexy “after birth” underwear and some MASSIVE pads. And if you don’t know me very well the “super sexy” part of that sentence is extremely sarcastic. Probs going to buy some adult diapers soon for the postpartum bleeding, heck with the bladder leakage I’ve got going on I might as well just start wearing them now!!

How are you feeling?
Physically: Physically, I feel great most hours of the day, nighttime seems to be the worst for me. Everything starts aching in the evenings and Hayes starts putting a lot of pressure on my pelvic area. Sometimes it also feels like he’s trying to push his way out of my stomach. Baths are a MUST every single day now, sometimes multiple times a day.
Emotionally: Emotionally, I’m a hot freaking mess. Like I can’t even try and play this one down, I am officially a lunatic. SO emotional and SO hormonal. We spent the day at my sister in laws house Monday afternoon playing games and just hanging out with the family and I cried the entire hour long ride home because “I just love Charley so much” (Charley is our dog) When I say I cried, I mean I sobbed hysterically. Crying is something that happens every day now, for a multitude of reasons – because i’m so happy, or love someone/something so much, i’m hurting and uncomfortable, i’m ready to meet Hayes, i’m overwhelmed at everything we still have to do, something hurt my feelings, i’m terrified of labor, someone looked at me wrong, someone didn’t look at me, Kyle asked me what’s for dinner, Kyle sat on the wrong couch, Kyle ate my favorite cereal (y’all just pray for Kyle)…honestly I could try and list all the things that have made me cry in the last two weeks but it would take several hours and I know y’all don’t really care SO I’ll just leave it at that obnoxious list above. I should’ve just put “unstable” and left it at that hahaha

Maternity clothes: are sent from the Lord above Himself and if you’re pregnant and avoiding maternity clothing then you’re also a lunatic and you need to get ya some stretchy pants NOW.

Sleep: Well, when I do actually fall asleep I tend to let out a big snort and wake myself back up…Sleep is no longer something I look forward too because it kind of just doesn’t happen and feels like work. Guess my body is preparing me for the long sleepless nights of motherhood!

Best moment this week: We got to see baby boy on ultrasound yesterday!!! He has grown SO much and looks completely different than I imagined! He has a full head of hair & SUPER chubby cheeks and I just can’t wait to hold him and kiss him and tell him how perfect he is. He loves having his foot up by his face and is very stubborn, just like his daddy – never wants photos taken of him! He yawned a lot and made so many silly facial expressions!

Worst moment this week: Well, with the bad weather Kyle had to move a bunch of his work priorities around and he accidentally scheduled his super busy interview session day during our ultrasound…I’ll spare y’all the details but I basically had a panic attack/pity party/hysterical breakdown at the thought of him missing our last ultrasound…it was BAD, pretty sure I started getting contractions mid breakdown. BUT I pulled myself together and we were able to get the ultrasound re scheduled (to yesterday) so he was able to come!!! Praise the Lord.

Miss anything? Well, sorry if this is TMI but attempting to shave my legs (& other areas) is pretty much the worlds most difficult and exhausting task. My belly is so big now that I literally can’t see a damn thing, I can’t bend or lean over without squishing my child and all of my organs, If I try to shave my legs while sitting down I can only do the outsides of my thighs because my belly covers the tops of my thighs…Oh, and painting my toes?? Nope, literally impossible. Honestly, if I put on pants and shoes these days I consider that a huge success as well as my work out for the week.

Movement: He’s just full of energy and wiggles around nonstop! Lately we’ve been having so much fun trying to guess which part of his body we’re feeling.

Cravings/Eating: Still craving sweets – Craving sugary cereal more than ice cream lately!

Symptoms: Emotional wreck//tight & achy lower back//moving a lot slower//waddling//shortness of breath//

How’s Daddy doing? Kyle is amazing, he can’t wait for Hayes to get here and has been SO supportive and sweet and patient with me during this entire pregnancy. He’s going to be such an incredible dad, I can already picture him teaching Hayes how to fix and build things and I can’t freaking wait to watch them interact together.

Looking forward to: My baby shower!! It’s in a couple weeks and I can’t wait to see all of my close friends and family together celebrating this special boy of ours.

To-dos this week: Find a pediatrician//Order Breast Pump//Write down a list of what to pack in hospital bag//RELAX

So thankful for all of you who read this blog of mine, and it makes me SO happy to hear from y’all.
So please don’t ever hesitate to leave me a comment, or say hi!