A Year Ago Today…

A year ago today I got real personal with y’all.
A year ago today I opened up and shared that Kyle and I had been struggling to get pregnant.
(see that post here)
It was one of the scariest things I have ever done.
One day something just came over me, and I knew God wanted me to share my story.
I wasn’t sure why, and as I sit here typing this, with my baby boy kicking and doing flips in my tummy, I’m even more confused as to why God put it on my heart to share.
I would be lying if I sat here and told y’all that there aren’t times that I regret sharing.
If I had known that I would become pregnant just 7 months later I would have never shared my story…
because frankly, there’s a big part of me that feels guilty for being pregnant
while so many of you are still feeling the pain that I was feeling just last year.

I remember writing the post and feeling so worried about what people were going to think.
I didn’t want sympathy from anyone, and I honestly didn’t want anyone to tell me,
“It’ll be okay” or “You’ll be a mom, just give it time”
Although in my case those words have come to be true, that just wasn’t
what I needed or wanted to hear at that point in my life.
Not because I didn’t appreciate people trying to comfort me, but because these
people didn’t know what my future would hold. Although they are nice things to say,
no one really knew for sure if I would be okay or if I would be a mommy one day.

I was broken, sad, confused and felt alone.
It’s crazy because SO many people are opening up these days and sharing their stories.
(which is amazing and inspiring)
However, everyones story and situation is SO different.
So even if others may be going through a similar situation of trying to get pregnant,
it still almost feels like no one can relate, because everyones story, everyones body,
and everyones journey is just SO unique.

After opening up and sharing our story SO many of you reached out to me and
told me your personal stories and how you were struggling as well.
Even though our stories were all different, we all had the same desires,
and I felt like I had this small community of people who somewhat just “got it”.

Although I may not be a part of that “community” anymore,
I continue to pray for each of you every day.
I pray that my story gives you hope and not sadness or jealousy.
I pray that God will give you the grace to handle the cards you’ve been dealt,
the strength and faith to push forward and keep fighting for what you want,
and the wisdom to know when it’s time to just breathe, take a step back and give it all to Him.

Thanksgiving is a time to celebrate loved ones and be thankful for all that you have,
but I’m 100% aware that those desires of your heart are there and sometimes being around family and friends who seem to all be living out your dream can be daunting.
I know it’s SO difficult to put on a happy face when all you can think about is wanting to start a family of your own, and it feels like it’s happening for everyone around you.

Just know, whoever and wherever you are…
You’re being thought about today.
You’re being prayed for,
and You’re not forgotten or alone.

Weekend Recap + Did they say what I think they just said

Is it too late to do a weekend recap of two weekends ago?! 

(Really wish I could add emojis in here)

Goodness, I’m behind!

Snag this cute suit for under $20!!

Kyle and I spent a lot of time in the sun this past weekend.

On Saturday we headed to my parents for some pool action, 

followed by a MUCH needed dinner at Texas Roadhouse. 

If y’all haven’t ever had their Chicken Critter Salad, i’m urging you, 


Hands down, best salad ever.

 [with ranch of course]

Dang it, now that I typed that I need one right.this.second!

Anyways, I’m thinking about doing a post soon about,

“What not to say to a pregnant woman”

If you follow me on instagram you maaaaaay have seen a rant on my stories this Saturday.

WAY too many people have given me their 2 cents on my pregnant belly,
and I had just had E N O U G H.
So thankful for all of my fellow mamas and sweet friends though.
You all shared similar stories with me and cheered me up REAL quick.
I love y’all.

For those who have no clue what i’m talking about,
There were multiple different instances where people had let me know
that my belly was way too big for how far along I am,
and well, I let it get under my skin.

BUT i’m feeling much better now and know that unwanted comments and opinions
are just something that comes along with pregnancy!

I love this {big} belly of mine, and I am so incredibly proud of my body and what it’s doing.
For all you other pregnant mamas who have had similar experiences,
you’re not alone and you’re PERFECT!
To all you pregnant mamas who aren’t showing yet and getting the,
“ummm are you sure you’re pregnant??” “are you feeding that growing baby??” etc…
Hang in there!
You are perfect as well and everyones body changes and grows at it’s own pace.
We mamas need to all stick together and support each other no matter what,
no more body shaming, and judgment!

Have a happy Tuesday Y’all!

Thanksgiving is tomorrow…

Top: WindsorStore | Vest: Tobi | Jeans: CottonOn | Booties: Zara

Thanksgiving is tomorrow – 

and I was going to write up this perfect little post about everything i’m thankful for and how blessed I am and how thankful I am for everyone and everything in my life…. 

Of course skipping over all of the bumps in the road that Kyle and I have endured this year.

BUT instead of pretending like everything’s perfect and chatting about how happy I am, 

I figured I’d be R E A L with all of y’all instead. 

And if i’m being completely open and honest, life has been a little hard lately.

No one ever warns you that your mid to late twenties will be some of the toughest years of your life.

Talk about growing pains y’all.

Kyle and I are definitely in a transitioning period, and well, 

it hasn’t been as easy breezy as we had planned.

[This post was actually typed up a few months ago, but I wasn’t brave enough to share it. I don’t want anyone feeling sorry for me, or thinking that i’m complaining.
This post was written in hopes that someone could relate and know that they aren’t alone. As i’ve gotten older i’ve learned that it’s much better to be human and be open about your struggles rather than hiding them — because you never know who’s struggling with the exact same thing, and could use a friend to lean on.
So here it goes…]

It’s a scary thing — making that decision.

 The decision to grow your family, to bring life into this world.  

At the beginning, I kind of just thought it would happen, ya know.

I mean it’s pretty easy right? 

You get off whatever birth control you’re on and do the thing, and 


There’s a baby in your belly.

I have always heard about infertility, about people struggling to get pregnant.

Of course, my heart went out to them.

But that would never happen to me. 

I’m healthy, and active, and I mean – I’ve always wanted to be a mom. 

I mean, half my friends got pregnant without even blinking, 

so I’m bound to get pregnant the first time I try, right?

It’s funny — when you make the choice to have a baby…

You start thinking of how you’re going to tell people.

How you’re going to tell your husband, your mom, your best friend.

You think of how surprised and excited everyone is going to be.

You picture all of this in your head and it fills your entire being with SO much joy.

The first few months are all fun and games.

When I saw that little negative sign, 

or those big letters spelling out “NOT pregnant”…

I didn’t let it get to me too much,

I just went on with my life, and figured it would happen the next month.

During those first months,
you’ll have friends get pregnant.
You’ll laugh and cry and celebrate with them, knowing in the back of your mind –
that you will have a baby of your own soon and they will be the best of friends.
A few more months will go by,
and you’ll see pregnancy announcements and baby announcements all over social media.
You’ll smile and feel so happy for the couple who’s pregnant,
but deep down you can’t help but feel sadness and wonder why it hasn’t happened for you yet,
and then you’ll quickly push aside that sadness because you know it’s selfish.
But i’m finally realizing that it’s okay to feel sad.
It’s okay to want a family of your own.
It’s okay to be jealous of women who get pregnant naturally and quickly,
we’re humans, and all of those feelings are normal.
It’s okay. 

Fast forward to over a year later,

that little negative sign, and those big letters spelling out “NOT pregnant”,

seem to have a much stronger effect.

In fact, they’re absolutely devastating. 

But with all that being said, I know I serve a God whose timing is perfect, 
I do have times where i’m sad and frustrated,
I’m not naive, I do know there are people that have been trying MUCH longer than I have.
I do know there are big things going on in the world and in peoples lives that
are far more serious than this issue that Kyle and I are currently facing.

But the thing is – we’re all human, we all have struggles.
Social media and the way people portray their lives on there isn’t real.
If you just scrolled through my Instagram you would never know that we’ve
been struggling to get pregnant or that my house is an utter disaster 98% of the time,
or that I absolutely suck at cooking,
[literally made my husband easy mac & crescent rolls the other night]

It doesn’t matter who you are or where you’re from,
we’ve all got something we’re dealing with.
And I think instead of being ashamed or embarrassed of our problems,
or struggles, or downfalls…
Why not share them and embrace the fact that those are what make us human.

So this Thanksgiving, although it’s different than how I pictured it would be,
I’m thankful.
I’m thankful for my true friends, i’m thankful for my families health, i’m thankful for the people I work with and how they always make me laugh, I’m thankful for the patience Kyle has with me, I’m thankful for dogs, because Lord knows the love they give is one of a kind.

and I’m thankful for struggles, because without them, we would never grow stronger or be able to appreciate all of the amazing little things that we so often take for granted. 

Happy Thanksgiving y’all. 

What i’ve learned — in my 2 years of marriage.

First, and foremost.

I am by no means a person to be giving any marital advice, that is NOT what this post is.

It’s just me sharing what i’ve experienced & learned  in my 2 years of marriage,

 after making mistakes and doing a little trial and error. 

My hope is maybe that it will help someone who may be experiencing the same things,

to know they are not alone,

or prevent them from experiencing some of the hardships of marriage that can be avoided.

Let’s get started….

There is no such thing as perfect people, 

which means there is no such thing as a perfect marriage/relationship.

So to everyone watching romance movies and reading romance novels

 and expecting that to be your future, keep crying ladies, because perfect men do not exist.

Neither do perfect women, so go ahead and set your tiara down.

We as humans have a sinful nature, and that’s that.

My husband and I dated a good 7-8 years before we made the decision to get married.

I mean, I thought I knew everything there possibly was to know about him…WRONG.

We had never lived together previously…and good God almighty you learn A LOT about a person after living with them.

For instance, Kyle’s learned that I always leave the bathroom messy, especially the sink.

I’m an extremely messy teeth brusher and it drives him absolutely nuts.

Not to mention all of the clothes I tried on for the day, those are all on the floor. 

And I’ve learned that men are incapable of wiping off the counter/sink after they shave.

Kyle is somewhat of a clean freak (which I love) BUT for some unknown reason

he does not mind his facial hair sitting in our sink for days on end. 

(needless to say our bathroom is repulsive…ha! totally kidding I actually cleaned it yesterday)

Those of course are silly/little examples that you learn to work on for the sake of your spouse.

Kyle and I had a pretty great & easy going first year of marriage,

I remember people always telling/warning us,

 “Ohhhh the first year is the toughest, Just stay strong, you’ll get through it”

and I always remember thinking during our first year….

“Dang, if this is what people consider tough then we’re going to be the happiest couple alive.”

Fast forward to our second year…

“OHHHHH this is what they were talking about!”

Marriage is such a beautiful and amazing gift that God has given us,

but it’s also a lot of hard work.

There will be days when you want to physically strangle your significant other…

and it’s all up to you to not act on that desire (haha laugh, its a joke — kind of)

Now i’m not saying EVERY single one of you will experience these struggles, 

but let me just warn you that not one person is exempt from them.

There will be times in your marriage when you will struggle financially,

There will be times in your marriage when you will struggle with time management,

There will be times in your marriage when you will struggle with freedom,

There will be times in your marriage when you will struggle with temptation,

There will be times in your marriage when you will struggle with selfishness,

There will be times in your marriage when you will struggle with feeling alone,

There will be times in your marriage when you will struggle with household chores,

There will be times in your marriage when you will struggle with in laws/ family members,

There will be times in your marriage when you will struggle with deaths,

There will be times in your marriage when you will struggle with heart ache, 

There will be times in your marriage when you will struggle with picking up your socks off the floor…

And consider yourself one of the lucky ones if you only experience one of these at a time.

Because, they sure as hell can all hit you at once,

 and that’s only a short list of all of the possible struggles….

But guess what?! It’s ALL worth it. 

Whether you’re married or not, relationships are hard work, 

and to those people that say, 

“if it’s true love it shouldn’t be work at all”

they can all go shove that sentence up their butt because they don’t know what they’re talking about,

or they’ve just never been in a serious long term relationship before. 

I’m not saying it’s always hard work y’all.

Loving Kyle comes very easy the majority of the time.

He’s handsome, he’s caring, he’s giving, he’s faithful, he’s a hard worker…

I could go on and on about the qualities I adore about him. 

 But one of the most important things I have learned these last 2 years is about myself.

I’ve finally learned after 26 years that I cannot rely on a man for everything.

God gave us a partner to enjoy and do life with but not to BE our life.

As soon as you start relying on your spouse to be EVERYthing for you, 

you are going to find yourself VERY unhappy.

People are flawed, 

no man/woman will have every single little quality on your “perfect spouse” check list, 

You have to be happy with yourself, and your life before you can truly be happy with your spouse.

You have to find your purpose outside of just being a wife.

And that was one thing I really struggled with this 2nd year of marriage.

Yes I own a business, I work from home, where I’m alone, by myself, all day, every day.

and y’all that’s TOUGH. 

I remember being in high school and just wanting to be a stay at home mom, 

or having a job where I could work from home…that was MY DREAM y’all.

And fast forward to now, I’m literally living my dream and i’ve never been so unhappy. 

But that’s okay. Because i’ve finally learned what’s causing that sadness and guess what?

It’s NOT my husband!!!!

It’s ME.

I am a very social person, I need people, I need communication, I need physical affection, I need to be challenged, I need to have a goal i’m working toward.  

Working from home I get absolutely ZERO of that, and by the time Kyle came home from work every day I was absolutely desperate for all of it…and he was exhausted and just wanted a few minutes to himself. 

This my friends, is a very dangerous path…

Now i’m not going to get into all the details… but if you aren’t happy with yourself it can cause you to blame others for your unhappiness. 

It may have taken me a lot longer than I would have hoped but i’ve finally come to the realization

that it’s not my husband that’s not giving me enough,

it’s me expecting him to give me EVERYTHING, and then being upset when he isn’t able too.

You CANNOT rely on your spouse to fulfill your every want and need at all times. 

This is what you have God, family and friends for. 

Happiness starts with YOU, 

not your relationships, not with your job, not with your money, but with YOU.

I’m so thankful for a God who shows me that i’m capable of so much more than I think I am. 

Who loves me though I fail him every day,

Who sees the depths of my heart and loves me the same.

“I will praise you in this storm. I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.”

Life is all about learning & growing and becoming better than you were yesterday.
And I can’t wait to see where God takes Kyle and I the next 100  (give or take a few) years we have together…

Shout out to Jesus.

Every now and then life throws you a curve ball and you have to make really tough decisions.

At the age of 26 i’ve officially learned that life truly isn’t fair, 

and sometimes things happen… 

 People will enter into your life and completely alter it without your consent or control… 

or maybe you do have control, 

but you just have no idea why God placed them there or what their purpose in your life is,

Questioning if they are supposed to stay and be a big part of your life, 

maybe even your whole life…

or if they were always just supposed to be temporary.

I guess there will always be unanswered questions in these crazy lives we lead,

 and maybe it’s better off that way.

Shout out to Jesus. 

For loving me even though I fail Him every day…

For pushing me to make tough decisions and grow from them…

For blessing me with a TRUE friendship when I needed it most…

 For providing me with a husband that sees all my flaws and loves me the same…

For a family that supports every decision and goal I have…

 Going back to what I said about life being unfair,

maybe it’s only felt that way lately because i’ve been relying on myself too much and not on Him.